phone's ringing

We ran long, and then we stopped.

2009-10-12T09:47:00.002-04:00

So Joy and I (and Becca, but it was old hat for her (congrats on finishing sub-2hr!!)) ran a half-marathon yesterday on Staten Island.

did you know that 13.1 miles is also 21.1 kilometers? I feel like the conversions between those two distances should be different, but what do I know?

Joy ran like a champ and apparently was happy and smiling as she flew across the finish line. I, on the other hand, saw Seppo and Josh at mile 12 and promptly started crying, which will really throw off your breathing pace, let me tell you. I did, however, sprint the last quarter mile, which felt great and made me forget about all the different pain centers in my body.

In the end, despite the pain and stiffness, I'm pretty happy about attempting and completing such a long race - not sure I'll do it again, but definitely glad I did it.

In official news, I finished below the 50% mark (41.8%, to be precise) in my gender group. I also tied a 70-year-old Brooklyn man, so that was exciting.

There will be pictures to follow, don't worry.

Thanks to the boys for coming and cheering us on. That was totally awesome.

Forty Eight in Oh Nine

2009-04-07T12:54:00.007-04:00

So a few weeks ago, I went to see a new neurologist. This new neurologist (no names, I learned my lesson last time) suggested that what I had been having were not actually ocular migraines, but were perhaps, instead, occipital seizures. My first reaction was positive, but within a few seconds I realized he was talking about MY brain. not some brain in a journal article somewhere.

cut to today, when the installation of my ambulatory EEG happened.

This here is me waiting for the event to happen. See, this whole thing is still funny at this point.

soon, however, it became decidedly not funny.

notice the flammable liquids signs. yes. that's the glue they are using to attach these things to my head. THEY get to wear a mask. I do not.

Here we are getting towards the end. I am no longer amused.

The finished product was not as egg-heady as i was expecting, and the wrapping on the forehead is definitely not comfortable.

you'll notice the awesome bag i get to carry. the cat was sniffing at it and then leaped backwards as if shocked by something.

more in vivo photos to follow, never fear.

the email subject was "claire and the antler head"

2009-02-23T16:50:00.003-05:00

I see no reason to mess with literary magic (thanks, lynne)

I met this little fellow on Saturday afternoon, 14th street at about 6th ave. Really, really, really wanted to pet his head. obviously.

the real fear, of course, was not that the guy would notice me running down the street after him, but that he'd stop walking, and I would go ahead and plow right into him. I relied on my sashay skills to keep my speed equal to his. I think, overall, the mission was a success.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-28T09:56:00.004-05:00

So I have not posted on this thing in a while. Funnily, the thing that inspired me to start again was yet another mean comment someone wrote on that doctor post from 2006. Really, it just reminded me that yes, I did once have a blog, and maybe my life is interesting enough at this point to start writing in it. Although, I'm pretty sure every one of my readers (all 2 of them) have taken me off their RSS feeds. Oh well.

So here's my test.

Is anyone out there? and Commenter John, I don't want to hear from you. talk about someone wasting their time.

Red Hot is Dead. Long Live Red Hot.

2008-03-07T09:01:00.003-05:00

Yes, my friends. It's true. Sad as it may seem, and on a Sunday when all I want is General Tsao's Tofu, it is VERY SAD. (Seth, stop smirking), Red Hot has left our world, and gone to a better place. I hope.

Now we must wait for its replacement - probably a Bank of America or a Starbucks.

And learn how to make a good hot and sour soup. Also scallion pancakes.

cloverfield - almost

2008-02-07T11:51:00.001-05:00

Last night, Seth and I went to see Cloverfield (after a lovely dinner at BLT fish during which we downed many delicious oysters, some king crab, and a very salty burger).

I was pretty excited, as I hadn't seen it yet and you all know how I like monsters and unicorns and things that don't actually exist. Also the destruction of New York.

Anyway, I became less and less excited as the movie continued and, sadly, by the time we actually got to the good stuff of awesome monsterness (and the monster and destruction WAS awesome), I had to excuse myself so as not to vomit on Seth.

So that was about an hour in. And I just couldn't take any more of the handheld camera thing. I'm pretty disappointed with myself, to be honest. And I wish I had brought my anti-nausea bracelet things. Sorry Seth. I'll rent it for you on dvd when it comes out.

In other news, a book as escaped from our apartment, so if any of you see a copy of "The Long Embrace," which is about Raymond Chandler, running down the street would you please catch it and return it to us? thanks.

UPDATE: seth has informed me that I lasted through approximately 40 minutes of the movie. maybe less. the previews screw up my sense of timing.

UPDATE ALSO: the book was found in a pile of books. in a back corner. in a cave.

say it

2008-01-28T10:43:00.000-05:00

So it has been quite some time since I posted on this here blog thing. For a while I was busy with my first semester of grad school, but toby, josh, and gil all manage to maintain their founts of funniness during grad school, so I suppose it's not much of an excuse.

Mostly I'd given up on my ability to write things a) that anyone would read, b) that anyone would actually enjoy reading, c) that didn't blow.

I'm still not too sure, but I'll give it a try this semester.

This past week I spent with my parents, mostly hanging out in their hotel room as first dad then mom came down with an evil flu/cold. luckily (knock wood) I have not been afflicted.

Then we traveled down to DC to see my sister's singing group perform (www.18thstreetsingers.com). as always, they blew me away. oh, we also went to visit Colbert's portrait in the National Portrait Gallery, which was really the only thing we had planned for the visit. It was a very nice week and a nice ending to my winter vacation. so now it's back to the old grind stone for me - one semester down, 9 semesters to go!!

don't worry, Nancy didn't want ice cream either

2007-10-09T09:55:00.000-04:00

for some reason, this is posting rotated, so I'll just leave it that way.

This weekend, the Golden family descended upon DC to garbage up Ali's apartment. As you can see, she made a new friend.

Actually, we all made a new friend, as Nancy Pelosi actually said "good morning" to us, which she then amended, saying, "oh, it's afternoon already!"

celebrities are just like us! they forget when it's afternoon!

anyway, aside from that piece of awesome, seeing the house floor, going to the spy museum (which was pretty sweet), and wandering around DC, we went to Annapolis and toured the naval academy. I'm sure you don't know this, but the naval academy looks just like a cleaner, quieter, Paris. weird, huh? as an example, I give you the largest dorm building in the country (it houses 4,800 students).

the take-home highlight of the weekend was obviously our run-in with madame speaker, and getting to stand on the house floor (and sit in one of their [quite comfortable] chairs). aside from getting to spend the quality time with the family, obviously.

oh, i also broke obediah's brain with a new laser pen toy. Ali, is he still staring at the wall, waiting for the laser to come back?

Mattie doesn't really like hers as much - keeps looking at my hand and meowing for a petting. maybe some day she'll tire of human contact in insist on chasing the laser around the room. some day.

Aside from that, I'm sitting in my apartment studying for midterms. so if someone would like to come by and give me chocolate, that'd be cool too.

it's that time of year again

2007-09-26T11:51:00.000-04:00

It's that time in New York City again - end of summer, beginning of autumn, when everyone starts to take the air conditioning units out of their windows. And as a result, we suddenly realize that we do in fact have neighbors across the airshaft.

It seems weird, but one tends to forget that those big white boxes ten feet away actually hide people. People who, like us, go to sleep, wake up, stand naked in front of their windows, etc.

There are some people, like OperaLady, who we hear all year round. Similarly, I can count on always knowing when RapperDude is laying down a sweet track at 1am. But I tend to forget about my neighbors across the way, some of whom are physically closer to me than my roomates, and the lovely noises they make that echo through the airshaft. Which, of course, makes me think about what lovely noises I make that echo through the airshaft. But that's a different blog post.

I have two things to say to my airshaft neighbor
a) If you're going to stand in the window naked, I'm going to look. I can't help it. Am I not human? If you cut me, do I not bleed?
b) If that bothers you, oh, what could you do? Oh, I don't know, maybe DRAW YOUR CURTAINS. I'm not saying I don't mind a free show every once in a while, but I saw you stare at me judgingly.

It just makes me paranoid about who can see what into my room. You know what? I guess I don't really care, but it's one more thing for me to think about when I'm trying to fall asleep.

Now I can't wait for it to get cold so I can close my window and go back to pretending we aren't packed in like sardines.

look to the bee dog, or, happy birthday josh!

2007-09-20T12:15:00.000-04:00

Now, as you may have surmised, when the computer got stolen all the pictures I had got taken too. because, obviously, I'm dumb and didn't upload them to flickr or similar. Sooooooo, when I decided to write a birthday post for joshie, i realized i didn't have any pictures of him.
also, i don't have a picture of bee dog anymore either.

but!

i found a new and adorable bee dog!

joshie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! will you be my bee dog?

oh god. what have i done?

2007-08-20T12:30:00.001-04:00

so, Josh warned me about this, but I seem to have ... oh how to say this ... jinxed myself. Is that no longer a pc term? jinx?

Anyway, after declaring this the summer of claire, I obviously tempted the gods to screw me. and screw me they did.

On Friday afternoon, whilst I happily played my viola in the living room, a person (or persons) entered my apartment and proceeded to take things that belong to myself and my roomate. Things that include my computer, ipod, Deirdre's computer, ipod, and bag of recently purchased clothing. The scary part is that I heard something in the back of the apartment, and went back to stop the cat from doing whatever she was doing, because I assumed the plastic bag noises were from her getting into something. As I walked down the hallway, I looked into my room and saw that my computer was not on my desk. It took me a few moments to realize that there was also someone (or someones) in Deirdre's room. I don't remember how I got my keys or my phone, but I ran out of the apartment and was soon screaming at the poor dispatcher that someone was robbing my apartment.

The police response was impressive - I think because I happened to be inside when they broke in - we had six squad cars arrive. but the "perp or perps" were long gone by that point. Also two detectives in jackets and ties (just like on tv!) canvassed the building, asking all the neighbors if they saw anything. then the cops left and told me not to touch anything and to wait for the evidence collection guy. needless to say i did not want to wait around by myself in the apartment as the gate on the window was still open. so i went down and sat on the stoop to wait.

The evidence collection guy came and took some fingerprints from the window. He then recognized a picture of Deirdre's cousin as his own cousin. Small world, eh? So cousin cop took both Deirdre and my fingerprints for comparison. He seemed pretty sure we'd never see our stuff again.

Anyway, not really the kind of excitement I had in mind for the summer.
Thanks to everyone I called in a panic for talking me through this.

And don't forget to lock the gates on your fire escape windows!

does anyone else find this creepy?

2007-07-26T00:05:00.000-04:00

I just saw a new m&m commercial, maybe you've seen it. It features many lovely m&m's exploring the city, riding double decker tourist buses, making faces into video cameras, window shopping, all whilst EATING M&Ms.

Does this freak anyone else out that m&m's are eating other m&m's? Who decides who gets eaten? Who gets to do the eating?

Also, in the Harry Potter world, do they ever listen to music? aside from the one band they talk about in the fourth book, I've never read about them talking about music at all. Just riffing here.

summer of claire

2007-07-20T12:48:00.000-04:00

Josh: this is for you.

So this past Monday saw the beginning of the summer of claire. By that, of course, I mean that I quit my job, and have nothing on the horizon until school starts last week of August. Now, that's not to say I don't have goals for the summer of claire. Oh no. In fact, I'm pretty close (I'd say three hours or so) to finishing my first goal of the summer: watching the first season of The Wire. Followed closely (obviously) by watching the second season of The Wire.

Also, I have visited the newly installed Dinner Party by Judy Chicago at the Brooklyn Museum - definitely worth a looksee, although I'd wait until after August 3rd, because there's a companion exhibit that looks good opening then.

Aside from those things, I've been doing a lot of walking around both Manhattan and Brooklyn and this is what I've realized - a) there are a lot of babies b) there are a lot of camp kids c) school trips from out of town are really annoying when you're trying to walk down the sidewalk and they're looking up at the buildings and stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. There are others, but those are the first ones that come to mind. All in all, a nice beginning to the summer.

Proof of Fun

2007-05-21T11:55:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, as Josh has mentioned, Josh, Seth, and I went to the New York Aquarium and Coney Island (Coney meaning rabbit. I guess there were once rabbits on the "island"?). Here are the boys posing in front of said aquarium.

Look how cute and happy they are to see the giant walrus and the jellyfish and the adorable sea otters!!

Also, we were at the beach, so I had them pose in front of the ocean.

The photos are from my phone, and I can't seem to get them bigger, but you can see the joy and excitement in their eyes. It's almost as if they KNEW we would see a sperm whale battle a giant squid.

She's no Beedog, but she's still pretty cool.

2007-05-21T09:21:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday Sheena!! Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, do they even HAVE birthdays in New Hampshire? I assure you that they do, and that today is the day that belongs to our far away best friend Sheena. Unfortunately, we cannot celebrate WITH Sheena, as she is so so far away. BUT BUT we CAN drink alone in our room pretending Sheena is with us, crying and moaning, while the cat stares at us and judges. Well, that's what I'm probably going to do after work. I mean, his own decisions, right? right guys?

Anyway, I'm hoping that Sheena has a better time than that, with a nice dinner chez Mohan and/or drinking at Harlow's with her Peterborough crew. Either way, we will be together in spirit, as per usual. Just because she's in a different state doesn't mean we don't still share the one brain cell.

In conclusion, Sheena is a land of contrasts, and is also now in her late twenties. Welcome!!

Erin is the birthday boy AND girl

2007-05-10T09:47:00.000-04:00

Today is the lovely Erin's birthday. Happy Birthday Erin!!! Let us all bask in the glow that is Erin!

travel back in time

2007-04-24T09:24:00.000-04:00

Sheena, do you remember in freshman year when I worked at the Wicca/Occult Bookstore called, wait for it, The Dreaming Goddess? and remember how I used to buy nag champa incense and burn it all the time?

Last night all I could smell in my room was nag champa.

Really took me back, is all.

but if it wakes you up, it's probably a little too strong.

2007-04-17T09:46:00.000-04:00

I was awoken from my traditional subway nap this morning by our local friendly leprochaun. Actually, I think it was the lady sitting next to me chomping on bubble gum. I have no problem with bubble gum. I like it. But at 8am, maybe it's not the thing you want to smell. Also, I really almost sat the young man sitting next to me down and had a talk about how you COULD cut off the label on the coat sleeve that says "100% wool". I didn't. But I really wanted to.

The Great Move, and the Mighty Return. But not in that order.

2007-04-08T18:37:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

I'm sorry for the delay in photopicturing from the Istanbul trip, but it took us some time to get the pictures together, and then I went to DC this weekend to drop Obediah off at my sister's house. Yes, it's true. Obie has made the move to the capital. Mostly because he feels it will be easier to pursue his political dreams (Obediah/Obama '08) and partly because I think he'll be happy there. The direct result of this move is that Mattie now realizes that she likes people. Also knocking shit over. sweeeet.
So, farewell, Obie. Ali will give me daily reports, so behave yourself.

In Istanbul news, I'm working on getting web-album together, but until that happens, here are a few choice photos.
This is the vew directly outside our hotel. I'm not joking. I stepped out of the hotel, picked up the camera, zoomed all the way OUT, and took this photo. (It's the Hagia Sophia, built as a church by Justinian, turned into a Mosque, turned into a museum)
This was the view from the top floor of the first restaurant in which we ate, Dubb, an Indian place with great food. That's Hagia Sophia in the back, with the remains of a Basilica in the foreground (the Basilica Cisterns, which were awesome, are located underneath those remains).
Here's me on top of the ancient walls of Istanbul in the Western District. I believe it was on the top of this wall that I got the world's record long distance cat call. Until Seth stepped into view, and then the guys apologized to him profusely.
Here's Seppo in front of the Blue Mosque. It has six minarets, which freaked people out when it was built in the fifteenth century, because only Mecca had six minarets up until then. It is still used as a Mosque, and we heard many a call to prayer blasted from one of those minarets.
Here's Seppo with his finger in The Weeping Column in the Hagia Sophia. It's supposed to heal you if, when you take your finger out, it is damp. Needless to say, Seppo's finger was not damp upon removal.
He WAS able, however, to climb the ruins of Anadalu Kavagi, which were totally awesome.

I think that's about all I can handle right now. I'll work on the web-album so that you can peruse at your leisure, if you want. Sorry for the lack of postcards. I blame Seppo's influence, but in reality I've never been so good with them either.

...

2007-03-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, Seppo and I head to the great land of Turkey. There we will eat a lot of street kabobs, probably contract the double dragon, and have to be airlifted out of our hotel room. In the event that does not happen, you might see blog posts for the next week and a half about our travels. You might not. I'm just saying, it's a possibility. There will definitely be pictures of it afterwards. So, be prepared. Also, if you want a postcard, email me your address and I'll see what I can do.

Istanbul Ho!!!

bumper stickers

2007-03-21T09:48:00.000-04:00

On my walk to the post office this morning I saw a car with the following bumper sticker:

"Frodo failed, Bush got the Ring"

I may be late on this, but that is an hilarious bumper sticker.

I'm already starting to look more like Toby

2007-03-14T10:28:00.000-04:00

Yes. I've probably told everyone I know already, but I've decided on a graduate program.

Starting in September, I will be in the CUNY Ph.d. program for School Psychology. Oh, and they're paying for it. niiiiiiice. It makes me feel like this:

and in five to six years, you can call me Dr. Claire. I mean, you could call me that now, but it would be wrong. And I realize I should have been calling Toby Dr. Toby the whole time. Forgive me, Dr. Toby??

i desparately want to take a nap

2007-03-07T15:38:00.000-05:00

Sadly, I cannot nap because I am at work. And I'm a little sad that my traditional commute-nap is not going to happen today. But my sadness is vastly overshadowed by my excitement at spending the early evening with this fine young fellow.

Isn't he cute? Yes, I know I have obsessed about Hudson before, but this time I actually get to babysit him. And hang out (read: knit in the living room whilst Hudson sleeps) with him all night long.

Also, for any of you in the city this weekend, Bowling, 10ish, Melody Lanes Saturday night.

There will be a Sheena present. I promise.

Are you my bathroom keeper?

2007-02-27T13:23:00.000-05:00

OK, so at my office we have to walk past the security desk to get to the dirty dirty leprochaun-infested bathrooms. This is fine. Not a long walk, nice to get out of the room, look out windows, etc. Also, the security guards are nice people. The problem is one security guard in particular, let's call him ... hmmmmmmmm Gio (with a soft G sound).

So, Gio is a really nice guy. He's probably around my age, always says hello and makes conversation. He's just a leeeetle overly friendly. Like the time he asked to see my hands and then said, "what's wrong with your hands? how does a cute girl like you not have a ring on your finger?" or the time he said, "no disrespect, claire, but you looking really hot today." I WAS wearing a suit that day, and took it as a compliment. He says this to all of the girls I work with. Fine, he's bored, he's a guy, I understand. What I DON'T like is that I walk by him to get to the bathroom.

And he makes conversation every time. And I don't like having someone keep tabs on when I go to the loo, how long I spend there, etc. It makes me really uncomfortable. We have started avoiding going to the loo. Which, let me tell you, isn't fun. I drink a lot of water, Gio. Stop judging my bathroom trips.

i am an internet celebrity

2007-02-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

now do i get to do lots of drugs and shave my head?

today i was buying a sandwich for lunch and a girl i don't know walked up to me and said, "you look really familiar, i know i know you from somewhere."

I said, "ok, but i have lookalikes all over the city. it could be someone else." (because i do. i have had people who know me really well walk up to complete strangers because they look just like me. i think it's the jew-ness and the glasses).

Anyway, she stood and stared at me for a second and then she said, do you know cc? i said i had knew of her and read her blog and that she was friends of my friends but we had never met. turns out, this random girl is the sister of the boyfriend of cc. she must have seen pictures of me on toby's or will's or josh's blogs?

anyway, now that i'm a celebrity, i expect to be able to do crazy shit whenever i want. and then blame the pressure and the paparazzi for it. be prepared.

also, that's really weird. right?

It's a poo sock.

2007-02-24T13:15:00.000-05:00

Don't worry about it.

Here are some photos from the latest new hampshire! We began the drive with an obligatory trip to McDonalds, where Josh made friends with Ronald. They're like totally gay for each other.

We gathered with the Mohan clan for dinner on Saturday night - a delicious meal of Venison Pie was enjoyed by most (Erin had a nice veggie version). Sheena outdid herself. It was great. Here we are enjoying a chew with the fam. I think this is cocktail hour.

Sunday morning we enjoyed Donna-made crepes - delish! Here's Hayley, pontificating on the joys of a Sunday morning sled and a breakfast of crepes. Behind her is Zach Morris. For serious. That's his name. Every few minutes he would stop, turn to the side, and explain what we were doing to his imaginary friend. It was a little weird and awkward, but Hayley said not to say anything because he's a little sensitive about it.

On our adventure to Walmart, Josh bought a magical inflating shark. As you can see, it didn't really inflate as much as we had hoped, so we took it out of the gross thick water (that you can see dripping slowly off of the shark's snout. it was gross), so we took it outside and buried it in a snowbank (sorry, Tom). Come April, the Mohans will have a giant shark in their driveway! Super awesome!!

We spent Sunday morning sledding down the hill across the street. It was pretty fantastic. Here you can see our four-person toboggan team. We totally beat the Swiss and represented Jamaica in the Olympics.

It was a great weekend - the perfect break between interviews. Now we have Sheena's visit to New York to look forward to!!

hold please

2007-02-16T16:48:00.000-05:00

hello yes. I realize that I haven't posted anything remotely entertaining in at least a month and I apologize. I have been going through the horror of horrors that is applying to graduate school and this past week and next week I have a bunch of what we in the biz call "interviews". This means that I've been obsessing about dress shirts, stockings, looking "intelligent", not talking to people about the three steps of "dick in a box", and generally selling myself to the highest (or only, we shall see) bidder.

In conclusion, I am a land of contrasts.

I will also be returning to the real world after my final interview on Tuesday.

We break now for a word from our sponsors - Erin, Josh and I are driving up to see Sheena in the NH this weekend. What better way to celebrate Presidents' Day than spending ten hours in a car to eat venison with the Mohans, only to drive back on Sunday night in time for yet another interview on Monday? There is no better way. Except, of course, if Man Pomerangay were coming with.

time to go through the spanking machine!!!

2007-02-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

Today is Mr. Tobias M. Toby's birthday. Huzzah!!! One more year towards decrepitude! Here we are, happy with the lord of jerkville being in New York.

it's all coming back to me now

2007-02-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

So, last Friday night we had Tera and Marty over for dinner. Much wine was drunk, also vermouth, absinthe, and beer. Maybe not the best decision making. Here are some illustrative photo-pictures The top one is Erin and myself trying to make my bed because I had had my laundry done that day and hadn't made it before the festivities began. Below you can see our new side project - the jugs with jugs band. There were, I promise, other people in the apartment. Sarah, Marty, Tera, and Josh also partook and did silly things. Some day we'll have evidence of that.

this is, ummmm, awesome

2007-02-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

So this is incredible - the Norwegian government is funding the construction of a huge underground vault to hold a seed bank. First of all, this is a fantastic idea, as we are on the brink of destroying the planet. The next time a tsunami comes through and wipes out a seed bank in a single country, this vault can be used to replenish. Also, it's deep enough in the arctic mountains that nuclear war, radiation, ice sheets melting, shouldn't have an adverse effect on the structure or the viability of the seeds.

I feel like I'm in some kind of weird futuristic movie. Like Deep Impact, where we march by twos to the underground vault to wait out the meteor crash. Except it's just seeds. Sucks to the people.

The picture above is an artist's rendition of what the vault will look like. The design looks a little like the underground part of the pyramids. Again, awesome.

picture courtesy of NYTimes.com

Also, is anyone really surprised that the Pentagon made things up? I'm surprised it took this long for it to come out.

oh good. it's not just the side of the road anymore

2007-02-06T10:31:00.000-05:00

So, our littering culture is now threatening to set off a chain reaction of explosions in space. Each collision of space trash will create more space trash, which will lead to more explosions.

China's latest anti-satelite test has apparently pushed us over the critical mass and has accelerated the danger. Sweet.

blatant self-promotion

2007-02-06T09:43:00.000-05:00

I don't usually post these things, but we are playing a Dorkestra concert on Friday night (that's February 9th) with the french horn section of the New York Philharmonic. It's an all Schumann program, his Symphony number 4 (I think) and his Concerstuk for horns.

Now, I know what you're going to say: horns are for fanfares. you are wrong, sir. We rehearsed with the horns last night and they are so unbelievably awesome I kind of stopped playing at one point and was just grinning like an idiot.

So, in conclusion: when are you ever going to see the NY Philharmonic play for free with a pizza party afterwards?

Friday, February 9th at 8pm
Trinity School - 101 Columbus (corner of 91st and)
Tickets from me beforehand or pay $15 at the door.

super awesome fun time

2007-02-04T14:09:00.000-05:00

the deed is done. the tickets have been purchased. we really ARE going to Istanbul in March. Sooooooo, Josh, I'm expecting a day-by-day itinerary.

flash back to the back flash

2007-01-30T11:23:00.000-05:00

yeah. I don't know what that means either.

As I was uploading pictures from pottstown, I stumbled across this photo from California. It was taken at the new (now I guess not so new) Getty Center in LA. The lovely young lady on the right is Jackie (Hi Jackie!!). The Getty Center was designed by Richard Meier, and is a really amazing piece of architecture.

The modern photo exhibit was fantastic, although the German paintings one was slightly disappointing, as far as I can remember. There are also some great pictures of the sunset over the hills, but I didn't actually take any of them.

Pomer-Awesome*

2007-01-29T15:17:00.000-05:00

This weekend was spent with mr. and mrs. Pomerantz in Pottstown, Pennsylvania (how do you like THEM alliterations? eh??). As you can imagine, much fun was had by all. We ate several amazing meals, saw Pan's Labyrinth, and slept, which is never a bad thing.

Here is Seth with his dad who was cold on our walk to the mall so he borrowed my scarf and seth's face mask.

This is Bear. You can't tell from this picture, but Bear happens to be the biggest dog I've ever seen. He's like the size of a small horse. His head comes up to my belly button. He's also awesome, although not the brightest bulb in the hallway. Sorry, Bear.

*post title came directly from deirdre.

heeeeeeeeere's johnny!

2007-01-25T09:26:00.000-05:00

So I saw the weird facial hair dude again this morning. Sadly, it seems that his facial hair was not a temporary joke, but a way of life instead.

productive morning

2007-01-19T11:09:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the winners in a leprochaun picture. Instead of having them pose WITH the leprochaun, I've had them pose AS the leprochaun. Can you spot the secret special guest??

ps. sorry, will, I didn't have a picture of you on my computer. We'll just have to use our imagination. You are the leprochaun of my heart anyway. Do they have leprochauns in New Zealand?

fancy is as fancy does.

2007-01-19T10:30:00.000-05:00

This past weekend Seth and I went to see the New York Philharmonic perform. We saw a fantastic version of the Elgar Cello Concerto (performed by an amazing 24-year-old Alisa Weilerstein who got a bunch of ovations when she was finished). It was lovely, and was followed by a less wonderful Bruckner Symphony (I'm just not a fan of the Wagnerian pounding orchestral pieces, although the third movement was very nice).

Here is a picture of us: after dinner, after the concert, after watching the Eagles lose in a bar downtown.
You can see the pain in our faces. In my case, the pain was coming from my feet, which were trapped in stilleto heels (prompting a few guys at the bar downtown to ask me if I was a schoolteacher. Actually, i'm pretty sure it was the glasses (not pictured) as opposed to the fancy dress and heels). In Seth's case, it was the close loss. Sorry, Eagles. Next year in Jerusalem, eh?

starting to feel at all like christmas?

2007-01-19T10:29:00.000-05:00

So it finally snowed (and stuck) and this is the sight that greeted me this morning as I walked to the subway. Not a bad way to start the day. Not bad at all.

how to separate the wheat from the chaff

2007-01-12T10:14:00.000-05:00

If you laugh: wheat.
If you say, "I don't get it" and I have to explain it to you (and you don't have an excuse, like English being a second language or you can't read or you're blind), chaff. Definitely chaff.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2007-01-09T10:00:00.000-05:00

So, I like living in New York. Most of the time. Not this morning, when it took me an hour and a half to get to work, again. But most of the time. And I'm reminded of how much I like to live here when I read the ridiculous headlines that pop up every few months.

Regard:

A Rotten Smell Raises Alarms and Questions -- yesterday, about a rotten egg/gas smell permeating most of Manhattan and parts of Jersey

Good Smell Perplexes New Yorkers -- late October of 2005, a sugary smell wafted over lower Manhattan

Sweet Smell Overtakes Manhattan, "Maple Syrup. Same As Last Time." -- last December (2005), same sugary maple syrup smell.

I love that the smell is news - I understand the gas smell being news because that's just scary. As "the nose", I am able to pick out the odor of gas pretty much everywhere - I've saved a few buildings by noticing pilot lights were out - but the maple syrup smell? That's just classic Manhattan craziness.

postscript - apparently the gas smell is now thought to be caused by a leak of the chemical mercaptan from a New Jersey power plant. Mercaptan, for all of your curious folk, is the rotten egg smell they add to natural gas to make it easily detected. Because gas doesn't actually smell. Awesome, huh?

UPDATE: I was misinformed. Turns out the smell was caused by a "temperature inversion" yesterday... ummmmm what? Here's the full text from the NYTimes:

"Yesterday’s lingering odor was attributed in part to a temperature inversion settling over the New York region. Of course, that wasn’t the first time this has happened. Before the Clean Air Act, such inversions were linked to hundreds of deaths, as they trapped the deadly toxins from the city’s factories and other agents of pollution.

Time Magazine’s archive has an interesting story about a 1966 inversion here.

It leads to a question some have raised following yesterday’s incident: have we become more senstitive to such odors in our atmosphere?"

subtract balm. plus stable.

2007-01-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

So I returned to work today after a vacation of about a week and a half (which was fantastic and I want to go back right now), and I guess the sewage backed up in the bathroom? So our leprochaun friend is apparently living in a stable with horses (I haven't named him yet, but you can name the horse. Winner has a new leprochaun picture drawn with them in it.) in a stable filled with horse shit.

he still smells bad, but now he has bad smelling company.

the gang of idiots: together again

2006-12-31T17:49:00.000-05:00

I've spent the last week in Los Angeles with the family, friends from high school, and seth. Much driving was done, much fun was had, many burgers were eaten. Also, I made my first batch of latkes solo (with jacks and cathy helping, of course).

Now Sheena and Toby have both returned to Brooklyn from not-new-york, and the family is back together again. As I type, the boys are playing perfect dark. It's like freshman year of college all over again.

Needless to say, having everyone together is maybe the best thing, and I can't think of a better way to watch the year change than with the whole gang of idiots.

If anyone reads this before tonight, come to our new years party! bring friends, champagne, and dress fancy. It'll be awesome.

call for directions.

also, i really like this cover

2006-12-18T11:57:00.000-05:00

Ian alerted me to this cover of Paul Simon's Graceland by Casiotone for the Painfully Alone.

I liked it fine the first time, and every time I listen I like it more and more.

click here for the song.

ba-cawk!!

2006-12-17T21:38:00.000-05:00

so this is the chicken car. it usually lives on lincoln, in santa monica. every time we pass the car, my family will cluck very loudly. we've been saying hello to the chicken car for as long as i can remember. sometimes the car disappears for a few months, and when it reappears it's very exciting.

i just saw the chicken car in a commercial! it's like seeing a friend on tv. congratulations, chicken car!!!

once upon a time there was a temple....

2006-12-15T10:11:00.000-05:00

Happy First Night of Chanukah!!

As I have neither the time nor the talent to tell the story better than Josh, click here for Josh's explanation of the holiday. It's good fun. Jelly donuts, gambling, and drinking. What more could you want from a holiday? not much, I warrent.

it's that time again....

2006-12-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Variety IS the spice of life, after all.

2006-12-13T12:07:00.000-05:00

So I just returned from our bathroom with some disturbing news.
Some of you may have followed the journey of the leprochaun through his various permutations.
From bubblegum chewing to feces smearing. it was a sad time for the leprochaun.

Well, now it seems that the leprochaun has gotten a hold of that gross lip balm we used to use? you know, the kind that smelled like cherries so you'd put a lot on, but then it'd taste like wax? anyone?

well, regardless, the leprochaun has not given up his feces smearing, but he has started to wear lip balm. Maybe in an attempt to cover up the smell?

umm, leprochaun? it isn't working. Here's what it smells like now:

You see the lip balm? it's cherry flavor, and he seems to be trying to eat it. not the smartest leprochaun, is he?

yeah yeah yeah, i'm doing it already

2006-12-12T13:57:00.000-05:00

so i know i haven't posted anything in quite some time.

i was trying to put a picture of my cousin rory from halloween up there, but blogger didn't like the photo, so i gave up. also, i'm inspired by josh and toby to revamp my blog. but then i realized i didn't have the time or remember what the hell to do to make sure all of my fancy customizations remained. so i gave up. i'm noticing a trend of giving up here.

luckily, i didn't give up applying to graduate school, and my applications are officially in. not quite done, but i'm assuming the schools will gather all of my materials eventually. word of warning: if you're going to apply to school, gather all of your materials (recommendations, transcripts, etc) yourself and mail them all together to the schools. don't trust them to be able to sift through the mountains of mail and gather your materials themselves. it. just. won't. happen. and then you'll have many mini heart attacks and, take it from me, those are not fun.

So i leave you with a "huzzah!" and a picture of rory. for celebratory purposes, of course.

blogger's not showing the photo, so i'm not sure it'll show up. sorry. if it doesn't, it's way cute. he's dressed as a puppydog.

super saver shipping takes how long?

2006-12-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

so I may have made a terrible mistake.

our apartment is very (very) very cold. in addition to that, I have no form of heating device in my bedroom. no steam pipe. no radiator. so I rely on ambient heat from the rest of the apartment to make sure my room is above 31 degrees at night. I know that, after talking to people who live in the apartment, people who used to live in the apartment, etc., that I should have bought a space heater right when I moved in. But I thought I was stronger than that. I was wrong.

Night before last was the first really cold night we had, and I wrapped myself in huge wool socks, flannel pants, and a hooded sweatshirt (hood pulled up over my head). I stopped myself from wearing gloves. Didn't work. But you can imagine me, my need for the air around my head to not be warm keeping my face exposed. My icicle nose inspiring me to cover my face, which leads to the hyperventilation and panic attacks. Awesome.

Last night was only slightly better, as I piled blankets on the bed and put a pillow over the window to block out as much cold air as I could.

Yesterday at work I bought a space heater. But, bargain shopper that I am, opted for the "super saver shipping" without thinking about how long that would take.

Estimated time of arrival? December 18. Yeeeeeaaaahhhh. I'm going to invest in a wood pile.

**Update** because I am an idiot, I needed Kathleen to scream at me: "why don't you just cancel the order and buy a heater on your way home, r-tard?" Which I did. and I will. Thanks, Kathleen.

what a way to start the morning.

2006-11-30T10:16:00.000-05:00

as I was walking to the subway this morning, I saw a really cute red-headed kid being pushed in a stroller. I looked at him. He looked at me. I smiled, as he was really cute. Then, as he came closer, he struck out his hand (in the manner of the Trump firing someone) and screamed out "NO!".

yup.

adventures in taxation without representation

2006-11-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

here, in no particular order, are some pictures from the weekend.

This is me beginning my Thanksgiving meal (the first real turkey dinner in about 13 years). Notice the anticipation on my face. I had no idea what a big turkey dinner feels like.

And this, of course, is me after the meal. Can you see the food leaking out my eyes? It's there, I'm pretty sure. Luckily Spiderman 2 was on, so we watched it (whilst my cousins screamed "gross, disgusting!" at the kissing scenes which, in my humble opinion, are pretty tame for movie standards. But that's just me.)

My parents standing outside the building where they met.
(insert barfing noise here)

And this is the thing de la resistance - my dad flipping the white house off. He was really excited about this. We actually had to take the picture twice - the first time he was wearing gloves and it didn't come out so well. There was a cop car parked right behind me, watching us take the picture. Thank goodness for freedom of speech, eh? right?

you have to really want to see the flipping off as it's slightly obscured by the umbrella.

"justin will love this: did you hear what they're doing at Notre Dame?"

2006-11-27T15:35:00.000-05:00

Before I recount the amazing snippets of conversation at the Smithsonian Information Castle (and cafe), I would like you to ponder the title of this post. Think to yourselves: what could they possibly be doing at Notre Dame that Justin would love? Let me describe the scene to you: Christmas tree decorated with faux orchids (very nice). Man #1 is a fifty-something white dude with a sweet mullet. He is speaking to two friends, one of whom is Justin. I think. (capitalization mine, to show my incredulity)

Dude: So did you hear what they're doing at Notre Dame? Justin's gonna love this. JUSTIN!!
Justin: yeah?
Dude: So did you hear what they're doing at Notre Dame? They're spraying FOX URINE on the students' Christmas trees to discourage them bringing the trees to school.
Justin: mumble mumble mumble
Dude: FOX URINE! they're spraying the trees when the kids bring them in!
Justin: mumble mumble mumble
Dude: I mean, I don't see them SPRAYING THE KNEES OF STUDENTS WHEN THEY'RE PRAYING TO ALLAH!

at this point, I ran away.
first of all, I don't think any school allows students to bring in real trees because they're a, you know, fire hazard. We weren't allowed to light incense or a candle, so I'm pretty sure a Christmas tree was out of the question.
secondly, fox urine? really? how does one collect said fox urine? and why why why would a prestigious college/university bother to SPRAY FOX URINE ON CHRISTMAS TREES???
thirdly, I don't even have the words for that last statement. spray fox urine on the knees of students praying to allah? COME ON!

I have many more stories about my adventures in the wilds of D.C., but they'll have to wait until I can upload some pictures (highlights of which include my dad flipping off the white house, a prairie dog, and my sister holding up the washington monument)

no. sleep. till. brooklyn.

2006-11-20T11:08:00.000-05:00

last weekend sheena came to visit us. it was super awesome fun time, but i haven't had a chance to upload any pictures, so you'll have to take my word for it.

i DO, however, have a prom-style picture of myself and seth pre-opera. here you go. for your viewing pleasure.

On monday, sheena and I visited the Russian and Turkish Baths (which are absolutely awesome) and finally had the Platza treatment. The Platza involves being beaten (by a very bossy Russian man of Mongolian descent) with olive oil soaked oak branches in the hottest room of the baths (basically a large stone oven). It was slightly uncomfortable because of the being manhandled by this guy while everyone in the oven watched, but it felt so good I pretty much forgot that anyone else was in the room.

On Friday night erin had a beaujolais nouveau party, which josh has documented nicely. Much wine was drunk, things were thrown off roofs, beer was had afterwards. then, (very early) on saturday morning, Will and I made the drive to visit the Mohans again in New Boston. On the way there, we stopped at McDonalds (of course) and ate Big Mac Meals. Might have been a mistake. Might have been why we missed our road and ended up IN BOSTON. No matter, we made it to the Mohans with about five minutes to spare before show time. We went, nominally, to see Hayley perform as the Wicked Witch of the West in her school's version of Wizard of Oz. Hayley was awesome. The rest of the play was not, however, and we didn't even get the payoff of the big line at the end. instead, Dorothy said "I wish to be taken back to my Aunt Em" or some such bullshit. Also, they called the Emerald City "the city of emeralds". LAME. But, as I said, Hayley was wonderful - the only thing on stage with a pulse, as Sheena has said.

the rest of the weekend was nice and relaxing - dinner with the Mohans, poker with Sheena and Hayley, food, football, food, and cookies.

Last night Josh, Seth, and I went to see the Bond movie. I highly recommend it. It was super awesome. Daniel Craig is my new favorite Bond. Definitely.

oh happy day (oh happy day)

2006-11-10T10:10:00.000-05:00

Today marks the triumphant return (for the weekend) of the lovely and beautiful Sheena to the shores of brooklyn. we are all very very (very) excited to see her. Josh has already posted some nice pictures of ms. sheena for everyone to enjoy, I just wanted to share my excitement.

My wife is coming back to me, people. even if it's only for a weekend. We're gonna party like it's 1999. which, if we're really doing it, isn't really all that much fun as far as I can remember. so, screw that. we're gonna party like it's three months ago (sweet!).

Also, on Saturday night, Seth and I are going to see Madama Butterfly at the Met. This is also super exciting because it's the newly redesigned and revamped version by anthony minghella. also, as far as I can tell, they don't use children for the childrens' parts. instead they use puppets. which may be terrifying. I'll let you know.

In conclusion, HURRAY FOR SHEENA!!!

never have I ever

2006-11-07T09:58:00.000-05:00

Today is Election day. This is exciting for two reasons:
a) I have no work today.
b) I get to vote in New York for the first time.

which leads me to a problem. I've never voted using a lever thing. In California, we punch out the appropriate holes. It's very easy.

I'm nervous about the lever thing. God, I hope I don't vote for Pat Buchanan by accident.

UPDATE**** so the voting machine was broken. I had to use an emergency ballot. No lever for me this year. I'll have to wait until '08. Sorry, Pat. Maybe next time.

this is for josh.

2006-11-02T16:07:00.000-05:00

Josh wants someone to post something. somewhere. I have a sneaking suspicion he's trying not to do his reading. OK joshie, here you go.

My boss brought in her kid, Hudson, on Halloween. He's dressed as a Whosit (apparently this is the latest IT (and i don't mean ebay) toy for infants). he is a-dor-able.

I got to babysit and put him to sleep. luckily, he woke up every time I put him down. So I got to walk around carrying a baby all day. Needless to say, not a lot of work got done on Tuesday.

A few of us DID wear costumes for a little bit. There was a pony replete with giant paper machiere head, rosie (of course) the riveter, and i think a combo "rockstar" and charlie chaplin. i dont' know what was going on. he's bulgarian. i didn't ask questions. i'm sorry i don't have a picture of that one for you. it was... umm.... special.

now I'm trying to write something to inspire my boss and an old prof to write fantastic letters of recommendation. I've already tried bribes. apparently that's in poor taste.

wish me luck!

the thing de la resistance

2006-10-31T10:08:00.000-05:00

This weekend was a trifecta of fun: my dad was here visiting from LA, toby was here visiting from north toby, and AND it was halloween weekend. you can see more and better photos here and here, but above is a nice tableau of our saturday night. on the far left you'll see a mummy with an erection, next to him is meagan. she's nice. then there's ian as a monkey, me as rosie the riveter, and a pumpkin. the pumpkin was the life of the party, obviously.

On Friday night Dad, Toby, and Seth came to our soccer game - playing in the freezing rain sure was fun: i can only imagine how much fun it was to stand on the sidelines. Super fun, i'd imagine.

Saturday Dad and I went to the Dylan exhibit at the Morgan Library - the exhibit was pretty good - lots of listening booths and old guitars and yearbook entries and stuff, and the library itself is absolutely gorgeous. I highly recommend. Then we returned to brooklyn, had a nap, hopped in a rental car, and went to manhattan to buy a new tv. On the way to the best buy, I held the door open for Ryan Adams. pretty pretty pretty good.

Armed with our new tv (and aquarium dvd) we prepared for the evening's festivities. Costumes were worn, beer was imbibed, and then we went to the bigger party downstairs which, after a false start, turned out to be pretty fun. Sunday involved an early brunch and then an hours-long walk through prospect park. then I put dad on the A train, took a nap, saw Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-d, watched Lost, talked to Sheena until all hours of the night and went to bed. All in all a fantabulous weekend. Thanks, dad, for coming to visit!

pictures thanks to toby.

7-alarm vindaloo, or how i became a non-vegetarian

2006-10-23T10:29:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, I've given up my quasi vegetarian status and have gone back to eating all kinds of meat after about 13 years.

It has been an interesting journey. Will said I should document it here because it amused him so very much. So, will, this is for you:

I'll do a step by step, multi-post documentation of my fall back onto the meaty wagon.

I've been contemplating going back into the fold for a while, but made the decision to actually go for gold when, during the last service of yom kippur this year, i couldn't stop thinking about a big juicy hamburger. now, i know, after 24 hours of fasting you're guaranteed to be thinking about food but this was the first time in my 13 veggie years that i actually was fantasizing about meat. i took that as a sign.

the most interesting part of this conversion is the reaction i get from friends, family, and acquaintences. people fall into two camps: they're either really excited, or they're confused bordering on angry. and i'm getting tired of explaining why i decided to go back to eating meat (because i want to) and why i stopped in the first place (my aunt adopted us a cow, she was killed (the cow, not my aunt), i stopped eating beef. then mcdonalds had a commercial with an opera singing chicken and i stopped eating everything else). apparently i'm now more interested in the taste of food, than the provenance of said food.

next time, i'll discuss our trip to white castle and my first taste of lamb.

strange moment of honesty?

2006-10-19T09:51:00.000-04:00

so I heard on the radio this morning that g. bush actually admitted that the war in iraq was similar to the tet offensive and resulting years of the war in vietnam.

wait. i know this. you know this. everyone knows this. but bush knows this too?

he followed this up by pledging that our troops would stay there "as long as it takes".

riiiiiight.

do you boys like me-xi-co???

2006-10-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

This weekend marked the triumphant return of (some of the) extended gang of idiots to the wilds of New Hampshire. Below you will see (or would see if blogger weren't a douchebag) that the wild turkeys took over our previous camping site. So, instead of fighting back, Seth, Erin and I just had a sleepover in Sheena's room (with the three dogs AND the cat). (it was a pretty full room).

The mini-brigade set out after work on Friday and made excellent time (except for the last five miles of 84, which took us 40 minutes), getting to the Mohan homestead at about 12:30 (for a 5 1/2 hour trip. not too shabby). We were greeted by a be-pajama-ed Sheena, enjoyed a beer-chew, and passed out shortly thereafter.

Saturday we slept late, were made fun of by the Mohan parents for said sleeping late, and then went to the dump. At the dump we threw bottles at other bottles. It was awesome. Throwing things was follwed by a trip in the convertable to Portsmouth, to peep some leaves and drink some beer. Both of these things were done. Plus, we got to look like douchebag tourist leaf peepers in our convertable out for a weekend in the country. Doesn't get better than that. Whilst in the lovely town of Portsmouth, I ate some hamburger (man was that good. veggie burgers just don't compare) and Erin and I found that Crocs (the hideous huge clogs made of rubber of which I would show you a picture were blogger not a horse's butt) makes lovely little ballet flats. So we bought them. And Seth bought a jacket to keep him warm in Iceland. It has GPS rescue tek-mology, so we can find him in the avalanche. Oh, and we drank beer. Lots of beer. We started with a sampler, and moved on to our favorites. Erin and I liked the double Witt, Sheena enjoyed the Hopp Harvest, Seth had some Old Brown Dog. All of them were delicious.

Saturday night we headed to Harlow's, where Sheena works tending tables, and drank (you guessed it) more beer. Then we went to a weird quasi-college party upstairs from the bar. It was weird.

Sunday, Erin went to visit her sister in Boston, and Sheena, Seth, and I went apple picking, ice cream getting, and general lazy hanging out-ing. This was followed up by a wonderful massage from John (just me, not the rest of the kids), and a fantastic dinner chez Mohan, after which the plan was to party all night long with Hayley. What ACTUALLY happened was that we watched Supertroopers and were in bed by midnight.

I really, for the life of me, can't remember what we did on Monday. I do remember the day ended with a migraine (which was a crappy way to spend the last few hours with Sheena). Whatever it was, it was fun and relaxing. We were in the car heading back to the wilds of New York City by about 5 and were on the platform at the 125th street D stop by 10:30.

Some day I'll get some pictures up there. Someday.

All in all it was a fantastic trip, as always. The only thing missing was the fire pit and the rest of the idiots. Oh, and Sheena when we got back to Brooklyn.

Thank you Sheena (and Mohans) for another wonderful weekend. We'll be back in November to see Hayley play the Wicked Witch of the West in her high school musical.

is this what you find at the end of a rainbow?

2006-10-04T14:14:00.000-04:00

Some of you may remember this little guy. He is the personification of the smell in our office bathroom.

He's baaaaaack. The airfreshener has been replaced in the loo, and it's back to bubblegum for us. This time, however, it's bubblegum mixed with, ooh how do you say it again? oh, right. sewage.

So really the picture should look like this:

Also, we have a lot of Columbia classes in the rooms next to the bathroom (part of the cleanliness/smell issue). I'm sorry. Isn't Columbia supposed to be a "good school" with "smart students" who know how not to "piss all over the toilet seat"?

well, i guess they took that out of the curriculum. it's a shame. they could use a refresher course.

is that a skin ailment, or are you just happy to see me?

2006-09-25T09:55:00.000-04:00

This morning, on the train, I saw a man with a beard that was shaved like this.

At first, I thought maybe he had leprosy, or mold, or something alien growing on his face.

Nope. I think this was supposed to be "ironic" facial hair. I mean, I'm all for the Hulk Hogan-esque beard, but it came up a little to high in the moustache region for that.

I hope you enjoy my rendition of the jackass on the train. Sorry I stared, dude. It was scary that early in the morning.

life after marriage

2006-09-19T10:45:00.000-04:00

Thus ends my first week in Brooklyn sans Sheena, avec three new roomates (all of whom are pretty awesome). Things are coming together - I finally bought a new hairdryer, put away all of my books, my food, my shoes, etc.

Here's my problem with the new situation (I mean, aside from the fact that Sheena is in idyllic new hampshire, of course): I feel like I've moved back into the dorms. Partly because I'm now living down the hall from Josh again, partly because I've moved into an apartment with three other people, and partly because Josh and Sarah are IN school. All weekend long I had a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I had reading to do, or a paper to write. It was very weird.

The only thing missing from my college fantasy life is ACDC or similar. Because, as I've told Sheena when she complains about my eating habits: it's just not fun to cook for yourself. I'd prefer to snack all night long. Maybe when we get our new fridge I'll actually make real food?

Also, Sheena - if the hummus has olives IN it, does that count as TWO food groups??

a hen in the forest is worth two in the hand?

2006-09-14T11:22:00.000-04:00

Last night was an exciting evening.

It started with an impulse trip to the jeans store (i refuse to name the jeans store because it's embarassing, but they sell the only jeans that fit me. so there.) where i got a new pair of jeans (bringing the grand total of jeans to two (2)).

Then I met up with Seth and Chris and we headed down to The Tank to watch Deirdre's Sweden screening (Package Deals). The videos were all very good - one involved cutting off limbs and having sex with a face (that's the one i didn't love, but it was still entertaining), and there were lots of music videos by The Knife (awesome).

Then Seth and I headed down (sans my umbrella, but that's a different story) or up, to Aquagrill (a fine eatery featuring an awesome raw bar and good seafood). Here is Seth presiding over the remains of our oyster sampler. The dinner was fantastic, surpassed, of course, only by the company. Also, the sommelier was a fawning man with lots of jewelry - as you'd expect - who told us that the wine we ordered was very "minerial".

All of the oysters were fantastic - my favorites were the "widow's hole" (mostly for the name), the Totten Inlet, and the Coromandel (which were creamy and really good). Also good were the Kumomoto, which were smaller and less flavorfull than the large ones, but were still oceany and good. Apparently the chef liked the way in which we roll, because he sent out some salmon tar tar, and I had the yellowfin tuna (with crispy rice cakes that were AWESOME), and Seth had the truffle encrusted cod (very tasty with "hen of the forest" mushrooms. hen. of. the. forest.).

they were delicious.

we finished it up (sheena, we got it for you) with a lavendar-creme-brulee with an orange escence cookie thing. it was astounding. and also, of course, the chef sent out some amuse-bouches for us. because, again, he liked our style.

All in all, one of the best meals I've had in quite some time.

thanks, Seppo!

it's a scary, scary place.

2006-09-12T11:42:00.000-04:00

**Sheena, this is for you!**

I finally recovered my pictures from the data card that lived in my now-defunct camera, and was just scrolling through them. Some of you may be familiar with my friend over here. His name is "The Creature", and I made him when I was, ooooh, 10ish? maybe older. maybe I was 12 or 13. I can't remember. Mom? When was The Creature born?

Anyway, I made The Creature in art class. Our assignment was to create a hybrid animal. I may have gone a little over the top. To the best of my knowledge, this is what The Creature is made of:

Head of a Lemur
Body of an Ant
Front legs of a Chicken
Back legs of a Camel
Tail of a Rat
and covered in real and faux rabbit fur.

Also, we had to decide how our animals would procreate. You will be happy to know that The Creature procreates asexually - the knobs on his head pop off and become new creatures (much like in the Gremlins).

So, my family being what it is, the creature has made the rounds of the house - hiding under covers, hiding under pillows, driving my car, sitting on my parents' toilet. usually he makes his move late at night. His back leg fell off a few years ago - so IT has been making rounds independent of the rest of the body.

You'll notice in the picture that The Creature has accumulated some props - namely goggles (which i think are warrented, because you never know when you'll need to see something under water), and a St. Patrick's Day hat (which was a nice surprise for me when I came home last. I think The Creature might have a drinking habit).

Just wanted to give you all a glimpse into the Golden world. It's a scary place. Always be on alert - The Creature is out there.

boy do i need a vacation from my vacation ending.

2006-09-05T17:04:00.001-04:00

yes, yes, my friends. please remind me not to come back from vacation.

i just had the most wonderful week and a half away from the real world, and it makes it hard to come back to the land of subways and work.

my first stop was LA, where my sister and I threw my parents a 30th anniversary party, then I had two migraines. Awesome. After a week of hiking, eating, hiking, cooking, eating, sleeping, eating, and watching ultraviolet with Jackie, I headed east to New Hampshire by way of a red-eye to boston. Arriving in Nashua, New Hampshire, at the home of Sheena's Memere, I was plied with coffee and english muffins, and collected by part of the idiot brigade.

The weekend that followed was amazing. I have no pictures, as my camera died in Santa Barbara, but rest assured, there will be pictures. most probably here, here, and here.

there was a fire pit with a fire, a tent, a half-man-half-pig-dog, a very small dog, other larger dogs, six people who make me very happy, sheena's family, chickens, donkeys, a hula hoop, cards, beer, eggs... you get the picture.

Anyway, after returning from said utopia, I find myself drowning in work (not to mention the fact that i have to go home now and pack up my apartment to move this weekend) so I don't really have the time to do this vacation justice. I will try to do bits and pieces.

I will leave you with this - I would like to live in the country.

that is all.

honey, pluto has gone to a better place.

2006-08-24T10:10:00.000-04:00

i'm sorry to announce that pluto has been demoted. it is no longer a planet. of course, i will always think of it as a planet and there's nothing the world astronomical union of jerks can do about it.

the pluto is dead.
long live the pluto!!

i heart pluto

2006-08-23T09:39:00.000-04:00

So I just read an hilarious op-ed in the Times about Pluto and its fight to remain a planet. I'll cut and paste because it made me really happy. I haven't been following the planet-hysteria lately - i just thought they were trying to figure out if Sedna and Xena were planets too. I didn't know they were trying to oust Pluto. Anyway, here goes.

I ♥ Pluto

By TIM KREIDER

Published: August 23, 2006

Charlestown, Md.

MY love for our picked-on ninth planet is deeply, perhaps embarrassingly, personal.

I took my first public stand on Pluto’s taxonomical fate when I addressed the Forum on Outer Planetary Exploration in 2001 (don’t ask why a cartoonist was addressing astronomers — it’s a long story).

I informed the assembled scientists that, first of all, no way was I or anyone else about to un-memorize anything we’d already been forced to learn in elementary school. More important, I felt sure that, as former children, we all instinctively respected the principle: no do-overs.

Planets, like Supreme Court justices, are appointed for life, and you can’t blithely oust them no matter how eccentric, skewed or unqualified they may prove to be. If they could kick out Pluto, I warned, they could do it to anything, or anyone.

I admit: it’s a highly emotional issue and maybe I got carried away in the heat of debate.

Even I was a little abashed last week when the International Astronomical Union tried to protect Pluto’s status by proposing an absurdly broad definition of planethood that encompasses moons, asteroids and trans-Neptunian objects — in other words, pretty much any half-formed hunk of frozen crud that can pull itself together into a ball long enough to get photographed by the Hubble.

For longtime Pluto partisans, there was something almost punitive about this proposal: happy now?

I guess I always knew, in my heart, that Pluto didn’t “belong.” Pluto is idiosyncratic — neither a dull, domestic terrestrial planet nor a surly, vainglorious gas giant. It’s mostly ice. It’s smaller than our own Moon, and has an orbit so eccentric that it spends 20 years of its 248-year revolutionary period inside Neptune’s orbit. It’s tilted at a crazy 17-degree angle to the ecliptic, and its satellite, Charon, is so disproportionately large that it’s been called a double planet.

Pluto is what my old astronomy textbook rather judgmentally called a “deviant,” and I’ve always felt a little defensive on its behalf.

I’ve long regarded Saturn’s misty tantalizing moon Titan as the Homecoming Queen of the solar system, courted and fawned over, stringing us along with teasing glimpses under her atmosphere, while Pluto was more like the chubby Goth chick who wrote weird poems about dead birds and never talked to anybody. Still, I just can’t stand by and watch as the solar system’s Fat Girl gets pushed down into ever-more ignominious substrata of social ostracism.

All I really wanted was a little velvet-rope treatment for Pluto. I didn’t expect them to throw open the doors to all this Kuiper Belt riffraff.

It’s like that point when your party’s grown out of control and you look around and ask: Who are these people? Sedna? Xena? Ceres? Ceres is an asteroid, for God’s sake. Why not just make 1997 XF11 or Greenland or Harriet Meiers a planet?

And I am second to no one in my respect for Charon, but come on: it’s obviously Pluto’s moon.

Now they’re proposing to designate it a “large companion,” which sounds like the sort of euphemistic legal status the court might grant to Oliver Hardy and can’t be doing Charon’s self-esteem one bit of good. “Longtime companion” would have been more dignified and validating.

The solar system is a mess.

The situation this seems most similar to is the inextricably tangled social nightmare that is inviting people to your wedding. You truly want to invite your distant and eccentric but dear old friend Pluto, but this necessarily means inviting his horrible girlfriend, too, plus then maybe you’re obliged to invite all the other people you were both friends with in college, friends he’s still in contact with who will be offended if he’s invited and they’re not but who, frankly, are now boring people with whom you no longer have anything in common.

Some would suggest we just have to be harsh about this and not invite any of them, Pluto included. But these people are forgetting that we already sent Pluto an invitation, 76 years ago. Pluto has rented a tuxedo.

The astronomical union is to vote on Pluto tomorrow. But even as astronomers squabble, I remain confident that this whole wonky state of affairs will not be permanent. Eventually we’ll get it all sorted out.

For the record, I would accept a separate (but equal!) class of dwarves or planetoids, including Sedna and Xena. After all, the childhood mnemonic is easily amended: My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas, Sans Xenophobia.

But what I really wish is that we’d just grandfather Pluto in and then close all the loopholes. Let’s do it, not for scientific reasons, but for sentimental ones.

As a friend of mine at NASA said, “It would prove our humanity to let Pluto stay in.” It would be like that moment when the doorman is about to escort you out of a private party where you don’t, arguably, belong, but then someone who knows you taps him on the shoulder and says, “Wait a minute, I know this guy. He’s O.K..”

top three things you do not want to find on your carpet first thing on a monday morning:

2006-08-21T09:44:00.000-04:00

3. barf (of the cat variety)

2. a dead mouse (of the feivel variety)

1. a barfed up dead mouse

You will all be happy to know that I awoke to numero dos this morning. When I first saw it on the carpet, I thought it was a hairball. I squinted at it, and then moved on to the bathroom. Promptly forgot about it until about five minutes later, when I looked at it again and realized that it was a baby mouse.

Thankfully, there was no blood. Because I could NOT have handled that so early in the morning.

So one of our cats is a killer. I'm going to guess it's not Obie.

this has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. we now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

2006-08-18T10:41:00.000-04:00

Hello. I'm trying to get back on this "blog" thing, but there has been a lot going on. We've been interviewing people at work to replace the many co-workers we've lost (may they rest in peace. or in medschool and on tour (Brazztree.com)), so I've been swamped trying to cram in all of THEIR work in addition to interviews and reading of applications.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some pictures of my cousin Rory, because it's been a while. There was talk of me finally meeting said cousin when I'm home next weekend, but they're going on vacation so I'm going to a friend's birthday party instead.

I've decided it is my mission whilst home to get all of my LA friends together so that they can be friends with each other. Mostly because my sister is now home with not a lot to do and my friends are good people and my sister is good people. so, you know, it makes sense.

here's a picture of ali. she's going to kill me. isn't she cute?!

Soooooo cute. Ali just graduated from college (Middlebury because she's smart too) and is now back at home for the summer, getting her legs, figuring out her next move. If only she didn't hate New York so much. Oh the adventures we'd have.

a day in the life

2006-08-11T10:43:00.000-04:00

I believe that, because I haven't posted anything all week, I've lost the few loyal readers I had. Mom, Dad, come back to the blog. I'm sorry.

There's been many happenings that have kept me from, you know, narcissistically sharing my life with the unknown denizens of the internet. Mostly it's been the fact that Sheena has decided to move home to New Hampshire, and I've spent the last few weeks coming to terms with that. Some of you may know that Sheena and I were freshman year roomates in college. I still remember talking to her for the first time - I was sitting on my parents bed, my sister was staring at me expectantly, as Sheena and I figured out who would bring the stereo and who would bring the fridge (my stereo, her fridge). Toward the end of the conversation she said something was "wicked awesome". Now, growing up in Los Angeles, I had never ever in my life heard someone use that phrase. I hung up the phone in a daze, looked at my sister, and said "she said it was wicked awesome. is that a good thing?" Apparently it was, because we've been best friends ever since. And I'm not sure how I'll manage in the real world without her. Thankfully she has taught me many things - like how to properly mop a kitchen floor, clean a bathroom, and be married to someone. Ah my wife, how I will miss living with you. Check this girl out. Can you blame me for being too sad to post? I can't.

Luckily, I scored a room in Josh's apartment, and will move in next month. At least I will have the benefit of living with some of my other friends (a benefit that Sheena sadly does not share, although she gets to live with Hayley and the dude (scroll down to the video), so you know, it's not all bad). I'm sure I will document the process of throwing out half of my belongings so that I can fit in my new room. I will live an ascetic life. Yes. Also I will be going to IKEA soon. Anyone who wants to join is welcome.

Now I just have to learn to motivate myself to cook. Deliveries of meals will be appreciated. It's not that I can't cook - I can cook pretty well - it's just that Sheena can cook so much better than I can. But I digress.

This caught my eye this morning: A Corpse Flower is Blooming in the Botanical Gardens.

I feel like I read about this flower in A Series of Unfortunate Events or something. The flower smells like putrefying meat to attract very specific beetles and sweat bees. Talk about your awesome evolutionary tricks.

If only my nose were not as sensitive as it is (last night we took out the trash and a soy sauce marinade had leaked into the trash can. Faster than you can make a gagging noise, I had that trashcan filled with bleach and in the tub, filling with water. It's a gift, really), I would visit said flower. But, knowing myself and the fact that no one wants to accompany a friend to see a flower that smells like death, not to mention holding back my hair as I vomit all over said flower, I think I'll miss it this time. It's been 67 years since this flower bloomed in New York. I think I can wait another 67 years - by that time my nose probably won't work anymore. Also, it looks like a penis.

where am i again?

2006-08-08T09:32:00.000-04:00

this morning, on my way to work, i looked over and saw a nice young man (in a button up shirt and tie, no less) reading Locke's Two Treatises of Government. ok, a little weird, but maybe he's into political science? i look directly to his left and i see this young lady reading Hobbes' Leviathan. i'm sorry. am i at vassar? is everyone taking political theory all at once?

Just thought it was a little weird.

Also, i made it in to work without fainting or vomiting. very exciting. huzzah!!

in addition, I now have a place to move when sheena makes the pilgrimage home. no more vain apartment searches when i should be doing work! i will soon be living on prospect park west with the lovely josh, sarah, and deirdre. huzzah!! well, not really "huzzah" because it's still horrible that she's leaving, but a small "thank god" that i actually have a place to live that i can afford and keep my cats.

the world in which we live in.

2006-08-04T09:23:00.000-04:00

Today, on my walk to the subway, I heard a mockingbird singing the song of a car alarm.

weekend of shock and awe, part II

2006-07-31T23:07:00.000-04:00

More mis-adventures at the beer gardens. In this series, Andy was trying to capture the perfect mix of drunk and happy. I think, if you take the series as a whole, he succeeded. I leave you to judge for yourself.

This last one is my favorite. mostly because seth and i have similar expressions on our faces, and a little bit because of how uncomfortable sheena looks to be touching shoulders with me. excellent.

weekend of shock and awe. part I

2006-07-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

This weekend was one of wonder and amazement. To the left you can see my cousins, Matthew and Daniel, a mere 14 rows behind home plate while we watched the Devil Rays kick the Yankees in the can. Man that was a great game. Below you will see my uncle Steve.
This is uncle steve. He looks just like my dad. Handsome devil, isn't he?

Saturday was also Sarah's birthday. Happy Birthday Sarah! Here she is, so happy at the Astoria Beer Gardens. After a lengthy subway ride and an even lengthier wait in the line (don't worry, i had a book to read), Andy and I got to join the gang of idiots (well, some of them, anyway) and drink my share of beer. Before our arrival, Seth had made his entrance with a box of Munchkins (as a birthday present, i presume) and was stopped by the security professional, Gold Tooth (I call him Gold Tooth because he had, you guessed it, a gold tooth. and was very much into his job). Gold Tooth told Seth he could NOT bring his munchkins in. So Seth, being a reasonable fellow, said, "ok, that's fine Gold Tooth, can I just leave the box here, behind this tree?" Gold Tooth was amenable, and Seth was allowed to enter. Now, Erin (of whom i have no pictures from this party, sorry) saw the aforementioned exchange and decided to go ninja and rescue said Munchkins. She pulled out all of her spy moves and successfully brought the munchkins to the table, after which they were eaten. The picture below was taken right after Gold Tooth walked by our table and saw the empty box of munchkins. I believe he asked Andy, "Who ate the fucking munchkins?" Andy demured. Seth looked on. Gold Tooth was hurt. Then I took a picture of him.

that might have been a mistake.

immediately he started yelling at me to erase the picture (which i did), and then proceeded to demand my camera so he could scroll through and make sure that i had, in fact erased the picture (way to go, Gold Tooth. you missed THIS one!).

Seth and Sheena (while intoxicated) thought this was hilarious.

well. thank god THAT's over.

2006-07-24T09:54:00.003-04:00

As some of you may know, I'm gearing up to apply to grad school As such, I have been studying for the dreaded GRE test. Then, last week, I decided I just. couldn't. take. it. anymore. So I took the GRE test on Saturday. Huzzah!

So, after a few days freaking out, and I apologize to everyone for whatever pain I put you through, I bit the bullet and took the test. Thank you, ETS, for showing me my score immediately upon completing the test. Now I know that I never have to take an ETS test again. Praise the lord.

And now I can go back to doing important things on the subway. Like reading and sleeping. Without feeling guilty. The question remains: who wants to write my personal statement for me?

no, no. don't everyone jump up at once.

The picture is of my cousin, Rory, because he's also really excited that my GRE adventure is over. Thanks, Stacy, for the pic.

dad, you have to return the ferarri

2006-07-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

so, surprisingly, we did not win the lotto. someone did, though. congratulations, someone.

if you email me, i'll give you my address and you can send me a check. i know you want to share your good fortune.

jesus my leg hurts * *

2006-07-17T17:14:00.000-04:00

The Goldens came. The Goldens changed a tire. The Goldens left. Let's have a recap, shall we? (warning to those with heart conditions or who may be pregnant or who may become pregnant whilst reading this post. it is very long. take a deep breath, drink some water. power through it)

This weekend my parents came to visit, huzzah!!

Friday i left work early to meet them at their super cool modern(e) (with an e because it's so so super modern it's totally french). Hotel on Rivington (also home to super hot hotspot Thor. i mean, come on. thor?)

Sooooo, anyway. I met them at their hotel and then we treked up to Madison Square Park to partake of the Shake Shack (thanks to sheena and seth for waiting in line for 25 minutes so we could cut. it was awesome) and had a lovely lunch. Then we went back to the hotel and took a two (2) hour nap, obviously. Then we had a nice dinner at Mesa Grill - i had the chile relleno, which was nice, but a bit overpriced. Dad didn't like the level of noise (high), Andy and Dad didn't like the wait for the check at the end of the meal (long). All in all, a nice time was had by all. Then, Andy and i went down to the Angelica and watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit (which, by the way, was/is the scariest movie i have and will ever see). I am proud to say that I did NOT run out of the theater screaming during the last scene, and I kept my eyes open the whole time. Even when Christopher Lloyd is all springy and screamy with the red eyes.

Saturday, we took a walk around the lower east side to see where my grandpa (Sambo) grew up (apparently he was a bowery boy and smoked and chewed tobacco at the age of 5 and worked for the mob etc.). We went to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and walked around the rose garden. Some time during this walk I strained a muscle in my shin (didn't really know we had muscles in our shins). Then we had an AWESOME game of pick-up soccer in the park. There were heroics, there were falls, I scored two (2) goals, Robbie scored like eleven. Mom and Dad and Deirdre and Joy watched from the sidelines and cheered us on. I, meanwhile, injure my leg more and realize that I can't hike the Mohonk Reserve (as we have been planning for the past month) because I can't comfortably (or uncomfortably for that matter) walk down the street.

Sunday was the longest day ever. I might need an entirely new post to talk about it, because there are pictures to go with it and they are not available to me right now. I will do a quick recap. In bullet-point format.

met parents for breakfast at 9
picked up rental car at east 12th street at 10
turned onto the westside highway at 10:30
realized the westside highway was closed at 11 (at 44th street)
got over to central park west at 11:15
realized there was a triathalon so central park west was a parking lot and we couldn't cross the park at 11:30
finally got out of the city at 12
drove over some road debree on the Deegan at 12:20
changed the flat tire in Historical Yorktown Heights at 12:30
made our way to Mt. Eden cemetary to visit Grandma at 1:15 (then tried to yell at someone about the state of the plot, but there was no one in the office)
drove through Poughkeepsie trying to find a dollar store from which to buy towels
turned the wrong way down a three lane highway trying to cross the bridge, promptly pulled a u-turn.
got across the bridge heading to New Paltz (trying to find the lake at the Mohonk Preserve)
see a sign for the mega-millions jackpot ($849 million), and decide that, with our luck, we must buy a ticket, or twenty.
stop at Shoprite, RiteAid, Super Stop-n-Shop to find towels. unsuccessful.
arrive at the Mohonk Preserve at 2:30, eat a picnic lunch on the bench, discover that the lake is not at the Mohonk Preserve, but is a 10 minute drive away.
make the 10 minute drive. find the lake (12 feet x 14 feet) and the 400 people who have found said lake before us.
leave lake to see the Mohonk Mountain House (another fifteen minute drive off the highway).
get to carriage house, get turned away from Mohonk Mountain House at 5:15 (I'm convinced the guy saw we were driving on a donut tire and decided we were undesirables).
drive back through New Paltz, stop at the starbucks (for shame)
I leave my purse at said starbucks. I remember it. I answer three riddles in order to get it back.
We stop at a gas station and buy 10 quickpick lotto tickets at 6:46
We realize that the jackpot is actually only $49 million, and that the $849 was a typo.
Make it to White Plains, were we pick up a couple of boxes of plates and have to talk to the family that has been keeping them for me for the last two years. They have just come back from Aruba and apparently traded their skin in for tanned leather.
Finally head back to Brooklyn at 8:30
Pull up in front of the apartment at 9:30
Drive back to Manhattan at 9:35
Get to the rental car place at 10
Argue with the attendant about where to put the car, who needs to inventory the car, and the fact that we're still driving on a donut tire.
Finally get to Chat'n'chew for dinner at 10:35
Are told that the kitchen closed at 10:30.
Walk down the street the the Coffee Shop, eat, digest.
Get on the subway home.

The end.
* i stole this title from Josh * and from Sheena.

sweet sassy molassy

2006-07-13T13:45:00.000-04:00

ok. so scientists have designed a computer (and a brain implant) that allows people to control computers/tv/radio/robot/whatever you want with your mind. YOUR MIND.

full story here.

i'm simultaneously really excited and scared a lot.

**update** ok, andy, i think i fixed it. links are hard.

h-e-l-p-!-!

2006-07-11T14:17:00.000-04:00

help me!
my parents are coming on Friday night and I can't think of a place to eat for dinner.

Their hotel is on Rivington in the Lower East Side.
they refuse to give me a preference of cuisine. i am at a loss.

help!

who wears short shorts?

2006-07-06T10:41:00.000-04:00

this is a Public Service Announcement:

Nair is burn-y, smells like rotten eggs, and tarnishes silver.

Sheena wasn't home yesterday to tell me "no" so i bought some nair (because the girl on the commercial wears short shorts and looks so happy and her legs are smooth) and tried it. and today i'm wearing pants because i have some pretty awesome chemical burns on my legs.

Lesson learned. burn-y = bad.

and how many hot dogs can YOU eat?

2006-07-05T14:17:00.001-04:00

Oh how I love the four-day weekend! Friday, my boss surprised us by giving us Monday the third off in addition to Tuesday the fourth. Huzzah!! How did I spend my un-earned but very exciting day off, you may ask? Well, I spent three hours at the DMV getting a New York State drivers license, actually. It was pretty awesome.

Technically (according to Josh), you are supposed to get your license switched no more than 30 days after you move to a new state. I have been living in New York for three years now (if you don't count the four years of college, which I don't, as poughkeepsie is in a whole different country). So, I was pretty overdue. Now I just have to wait for my shiny new license to arrive in the mail.

Monday night saw a blow-out BBQ at chez Josh/Evonne/Deirdre/Katrin. This BBQ featured a Guac-Off (which yours truly won in a very tight race), a shotgunning contest (in which yours truly did not participate, but was splashed by from a distance), and very nice tofu hot dogs. Thanks, guys!

Tuesday, Seth and I rode our bikes (huzzah!!) to Coney Island to see the hot dog eating contest. Now i've done that once in my life, i never have to go back, right? Here's a picture of the winner.
Yeah, he ate pretty much 54 hot dogs (and buns) in 12 minutes, beating his own record of 53.5. The surprise was the guy who came in second place, Joey Chestnut, who went dog for dog with Kobayashi, even getting into the lead at about minute 6, but fell behind at the very end - finishing with a whopping 52 hot dogs. I could be wrong, but I think that's the closest anyone has come to Kobayashi in the last seven years he's won.

oh sweet face analyzer, why do you hate me?

2006-06-28T17:37:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Josh, I have been spending the last half hour (i should be on my way home now) playing with the Face Analyzer, which is tons of fun. The first photo I uploaded was my spider bite photo. here it is, in case the image has not been burned into your retina and does not haunt your dreams. or in case you're bridget and in need of a giggle.
Scary, right? So, according to this photo and FaceAnalyzer.com, I am 92% Southern European (wrong)
8% Middle Eastern (wrong)
and my celebrity look-alike is Kelly Hu, who was Deathstrike in X-2 and is, yes, Asian. Also, apparently I have a "very low gay factor". thanks for that, guys.
my character type is a "beta academic" and apparently i am uninterested in, and bad at, relationships and social interactions. instead, i want to make lots of money.

so the next photo i used was this one:
Slightly better, but still not ideal. this time, however, they got more of it right. Now they claim that i'm 70% middle eastern (wrong) and 30% eastern european (now you're on the right track!). BUT my celeb look-alike is now Ashley Simpson. ummmm. yeah. i still have a "very low gay factor" and am still bad at social interaction. and, yes, i still want to make lots of money. at least some things stay the same, right?

Thank you josh.

**update** links are now fixed. who's the noob now??

bye bye, bruno.

2006-06-26T09:57:00.000-04:00

This is very sad. Bruno has passed on. Boys, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Apparently, Bruno's chicken-killing rampage made everyone a little nervous, and the Bavarian government gave hunters the green light to get rid of him.

I like that the headline refers to him as "Bruno the celebrity bear".

picture respectfully borrowed from www.brunnvalla.ch

mellow velo

2006-06-21T09:41:00.000-04:00

So, I went to the auto repair place under our apartment and asked the nice man at the air pump to, you guessed it, pump up the volume AND pump up the jams. (although i didn't actually use those words. i wanted him to actually pump up the tires, not call me crazy and kick me out of the garage).

Anyway, he was very nice and proceeded to pump up both the volume and the jams. but BUT when he got to the jams he said, "this looks bad. i don't think it'll hold. it looks like dry rot". i told him to go right ahead and try, because what did i have to lose? it turns out, he was right. i totally popped my tyre. (see? because the bike is british???)

he was exceedingly apologetic, which i found amusing because i'm the one who told him to blow up the tyre. at least i didn't have to go far to find a bike pump. if anyone is looking, the auto repair place on 14th and 4th ave is very accommodating.

hello velo ...or... let's pump up the volume, pump up the jams

2006-06-19T09:31:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, as Sheena and I were returning from Lowe's with our curtains, magnetic paint, chalkboard paint, etc. (we have many projects in the works right now. our apartment is an exciting place), we passed a stoop sale on 5th ave. Now, i (and sheena as well) have been coveting a bike for quite some time. what i really wanted was an awesome old cruiser, onto which i could attach a basket and carry dogs or baguettes or cats or what have you.

And so, huzzah, as we passed the stoop sale, i saw an awesome old 3-speed cruiser (pictured to the left). i asked how much it cost, talked the guy down to an even $50, and took my new bike home! now all i need is to get a) a helmet because i will kill myself on this bike b) get a bike lock and c) i need to pump up the volume and pump up the jams. and by "volume" and "jams" i mean the front and back tires. of course.

so wish me luck, friends, on this new adventure. sheena and i will be zooming all over brooklyn now. we really need some streamers for the handles.

GENIUS!

2006-06-14T15:59:00.000-04:00

so i have my ipod set to shuffle by album. and i'm currently listening to all of the greatest hits albums i have on shuffle. because they're all listed under "greatest hits".

so i am currently listening to a medly of cat stevens, the band, bob dylan, tom petty, and the cars.

it. is. awesome.

this is 168th street. have an incredible day.

2006-06-14T09:18:00.002-04:00

As some of you may know, I had an incident with a spider bite a few years ago. Of course, as you can see to the left, the spider won. Similarly, I had an incident with a cold this past week. and I don't have a photo of it, but the cold definitely won. At some point during the weekend, I actually had mucus leaking out of my eyes. GROSS!

Anyway, I apologize profusely to anyone I may have infected. I blame my co-worker who came to work very sick about a week before I came down with the cold. She will pay. Do not worry. She. Will. Pay.

Good things DID come of the disgusting cold, however, as Andy and I played tons and tons of Katamari Damacy. Maybe one of the best and most original games ever. It's a single player game in which you roll a sticky ball around. Wait for it. The sticky ball picks up things. You start very small, picking up thumbtacks and paperclips, chocolate chips, etc. The more things you pick up, the bigger you get, the bigger the things you can pick up. So you move on to shoes, buckets, dogs, people, flowers, fences, cars, people, apartment buildings, islands, clouds, GIANT SQUID. It is so awesome. I tried to upload a picture of a katamari, but blogspot is being a douche. later, if you're lucky.

apologies for the lack of posting. it's a combo of non-interesting things and my complete lack of time during the day.

meow, do i look like a cat to you?

2006-06-06T11:39:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends.

my what a weekend it has been. for full coverage of our 36-hour bender and soccer game, replete with pictures, i would direct you to sheena or josh's blogs. i don't have the pictures, the patience, or the talent to regale you with all of our adventures. i WILL give you a quick recap, as i have stayed home sick today and have a little time!

Friday night: sheena and i trekked to Whole Foods, bought eight pounds of Maine mussels, and tried very hard to get them home alive. as she has noted, the train was crowded and running local. lame. we all felt like a can of caviar. we made it after all and had a lovely picnic in our living room with josh, his new roomate katrin, lara, and seth. sheena made some delicious stuffed brie and we all feasted. Then we decided that, considering lara and katrin (a lovely german girl) were in america, we should do something decidedly american. so we took them bowling, of course. both of them bowled very well - apparently the boys all individually sidled up to lara, giving her discrete bowling advice. it was only the first line of boys to try to talk to lara this weekend.

saturday: the decision was made, some where in the fourth bucket of rocks on friday night, that we should all go to the brooklyn brewery on saturday, do the tour, hang out in the tasting room and get food. sheena and lara and i also decided we should go to the aquarium before that. needless to say, the aquarium fell by the wayside. but we DID make it to the brewery. we met up with andy and the gang, went on the tour (which consists of standing in a room listening to a guy talk about beer) and then ordered dinner delivered to the tasting room. it was prety good.

after the brewery, we stopped at beacon's closet and i bought a new umbrella. it's clear and dome-like and super awesome. then we headed to mugs for more drinks. (i had a coke, thanks very much, my drinking for the day ended at 3pm). from mugs we went to an art opening for a group called Build. Seth knew the DJ, and we ran into two of our friends from saturday ladies' soccer. after standing on the corner avoiding hipsters for a few hours, we headed to another party, this time in Greenpoint. Lara's friend, Tim, had invited us to a birthday party in a huge crazy warehouse-like artists apt. it was pretty cool, but after such a long adventure i was ready to go home. so we left lara to fend for herself with her friends and the rest of us took a car to.... another bar! well, i took a cab home, but the more intrepid folks went to magnetic fields and rounded out the evening with a trip to the chip shop. good choice.

Sunday: (oh, it's not over yet, guys) we rallied the troops and headed up to the city college field to play the last game of Castle Greyskull FC's metrosoccer career. as only two members of the rival team showed up, we won by default. Vlad, our very favorite ref, agreed to ref a scrimmage of ourselves against... ourselves. it was a victorious victory, and at the same time a crushing defeat. we all played exceptionally well, if i do say so myself. and we rounded out the day with a lovely pizza meal and xmenIII. which was entertaining, if slightly disappointing and preachy.

All in all it was a lovely weekend, and I'm so glad that everyone got to meet Lara. We're heading to the patio at Commonwealth tonight at around ten-ish if anyone is interested in bidding Lara a fond farewell - she heads out to DC via Baltimore tomorrow, and then goes back to Wales.

picasa is the suck

2006-06-01T14:54:00.000-04:00

So, on Monday night I uploaded all of my pictures from my weekend in j.crew land, in the county of abercrombie. Where was I, you ask? At Middlebury!

My little sister graduated from Middlebury College on Sunday. Congratulations!!

I don't know how many of you have ever visited Middlebury College, but it is for prepsters what Williamsburg was for hipsters about a year ago (before the douchey frat boys arrived). One of my sister's roomates' boyfriend arrived at the BBQ wearing nantucket red shorts, flip flops, and a polo shirt with a popped collar. a-mazing. Needless to say, I'm pretty well prepstered out.

They DID teach me how to play Beirut and my sister and I took on her friend (and her siblings) while both sets of parents watched and cheered. Surreal, yes? Later in the evening, my sister took me to a scary keg party (where I ended up vomiting behind the modular housing unit - not alcohol related, but no one will believe me). I met about a billion boys who look pretty much the same, and about a thousand girls wearing tiffany necklaces. Every single person I met was incredibly nice and personable. and they're all pretty smart too. All in all, an enjoyable weekend.
Congratulations to Ali again - she graduated with high honors, suma cum laude, and got the American Civilization Department prize (for highest GPA and most improved) and got a buttload in prize money. Now she can buy me the pony I've always wanted.

Anyway, I tried to post pictures of this BBQ on Monday night, but Picasa had an aneurism and it didn't work. I will try to post a picture or two later.

cupcake, this one's for you.

2006-05-25T16:48:00.000-04:00

as requested,

i have tried to illustrate what i think i might find in the stall of the bathroom. i've taken some artistic liscence. our toilets don't look like that. they're more industrial. but then there'd be nothing for the little guy to stand on.

is there a leprochaun hiding in there?

2006-05-25T09:54:00.000-04:00

So, the bathroom that we use at work is not actually located within our office suite. It is, in fact, located next to two classrooms and, as a result, is constantly filled with Barnard girls and is really gross.

In an effort to fight the gross, the janitor (a very nice man named Jose) uses copious amounts of airfreshener. This, in theory, is ok. No one likes a bad smell in the bathroom. I mean, it's usualy unavoidable, but you know, you can try. Unfortunately, Jose (or his supervisor probably) has consistently chosen "Bubble Gum" as the airfreshener flavor.

There is nothing worse than a bad bathroom smell. Unless it's a bad bathroom smell mixed with Bubble Yum mixed with strawberry lip balm. It also has the added benefit of making me feel (every single time I enter the bathroom) like someone is hiding in one of the stalls, furiously chewing bubblegum and blowing silent bubbles.

It's just a funny mental image. I'm pretty sure it's one of the wee folk.

"there has been talk of you helping out with these studies. you will NOT have to. I PROMISE"

2006-05-24T14:44:00.000-04:00

That is what one of my bosses said to me about a month ago regarding our two Hepatitis-C studies, one involving an antidepressant double blind placebo study (i just turned you on hardcore, huh?) and one involving two MRIs, two PET scans, and about a million man hours per subject.

so guess what today's meeting was about? ME TAKING OVER THE FUCKING STUDIES.

I mean, I know that one of my other studies is ending Friday, but I still have three-four other studies to do, I'm still pretty damned busy every day. Sheena will vouch for that, as I never have enough time to chat with her on the g-chat.

Oh, Hepatitis-C you have ruined me. RUINED ME!

Ok, that's it. I just needed to vent a little. Also to let you know, oh loyal five readers, that my posting might fall along the wayside. stick with me. dealing with hep-c subjects is sure to yield many many hilarious stories of disease and hijinks.

some gems from my C train conductor this morning...

2006-05-23T09:25:00.000-04:00

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. We promise. It will never. happen. again."

"For those of you running a few minutes late, let me give you some information in case your supervisors demand it. There was a delayed C train at Utica. You can tell your supervisors that it was the 8:04 C Utica train."

"Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, this is no longer the K train. This is the C train. This train no longer goes to the Bronx. To get to the Bronx, you have to take the D train."

"Make no mistake. No buts. This. Is. Your. D Train."

"Some of you might not know what I was talking about earlier. They used to have double letter trains, the AA and the CC. Then they got rid of the AA and called it the K. It used to go from 168th to the Bronx. That's what I was talking about."

"And, as always, when you smile, the whole world smiles with you"

"I have one of them who cleans my house, a Polish lady."

2006-05-19T10:25:00.000-04:00

The above wasn't overheard so much as one of my volunteers said it to me. We were discussing the transformation of our country into a bunch of crazy xenophobes (of which this volunteer obviously is because she said she thought we had "to do something to stop them from swarming over the border"). She (an upper-middle class Long Island middle-aged lady) said that she had a Polish lady who cleaned her house, and who was having trouble getting citizenship "because of those people". So..... the Polish cleaning lady has more of a right to citizenship than "them" because she's white? Oh man, I have to work with this woman.

Anyway, I was reading the NYTimes today and I saw that the Senate has voted to make English the national language. I feel like America is turning into volkisch Germany. We've got fences, an "assimilation statement". come on.

"Under the Inhofe proposal, the federal government is directed to "preserve and enhance the role of English as the national language of the United States of America." It does not go as far as proposals to designate English the nation's official language, which would require all government publications and business to be in English.
Instead, it says government services and publications now offered in other languages would be unaffected. But the proposal declares that no one has "a right, entitlement or claim to have the government of the United States or any of its officials or representatives act, communicate, perform or provide services or provide materials in any language other than English."

Isn't the joy of America it's diversity? what about the melting pot? what about "bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses?" Let us remember that the vast majority of Americans are descended from people who came here looking for new opportunities, probably not legally. I'm pretty sure that people who don't speak English understand that most of the country does. And I do not think that offering signs, governmental forms, etc. in languages other than English in any way diminishes the fact that English is the most commonly spoken language.

I think it helps people. Isn't that what the governemnt is supposed to do? help people? I don't think you can force people to learn English. Those who can probably will, those who can't are not going to be allowed to be citizens? That hurts me.

I know this is a hot topic, and that many people disagree with me, but it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I'm in the middle of a book about the revolutions in Germany that led to the Nazi era, and I'm feeling a sense of deja vu reading today's paper.

"douchebags usually travel in packs"

2006-05-17T19:13:00.000-04:00

ok. so i didn't overhear this blog title. or, rather, i overheard myself thinking it. today, during my commute home.

for those of you who are not familiar with my life, i have a pretty long commute. i live in park slope and work at columbia presbyterian hospital, which is up at 168th street. so, i spend a good two and a half hours on the train every day. sometimes i read. sometimes i sleep. usually, on my way home, i knit. because after eight hours of staring at a computer and dealing with idiots, i can't really focus my eyes.

TODAY, i left work on time (which is pretty rare) and got on my beloved A train up at 168th and broadway. usually i can find a seat right away, but today the platform was pretty crowded so i ended up standing with my back to the doors. this was fine by me because i could start knitting and scope out a seat. so we get to 145, people get off the train, and the seats are immediately taken. fine. 125. same story. getting a little annoyed (and footsore). 59th, finally a seat opens up. i see it, make a beeline and, what's this? an overweight lady waltzes onto the train and swoops in. (much like the time in seinfeld when george's parking spot is stolen).

so, of course, i stand there with my mouth hanging open, knitting in hand, and douchebag-ess pulls out her friggin nymetro and starts reading. ok. here's the thing. i am a good person. i appreciate that i am an able-bodied twenty-something (sorry about the hyphens, sheena). seriously, i probably would have given you the seat if you asked, overweight lady. you're carrying around a lot of baggage and your heart is probably tired. i would have stood up for you. BUT YOU STOLE MY SEAT. so now i hate you with all of my soul.

i ended up not getting a seat for the entire commute. even the F train bit.

while i was fuming (and knitting), some douchey lady came onto the train wearing a total douchebag baseball cap so jauntily that it actually covered part of her right eye. i mean, come on. you look in the mirror and think, "sweet! the hat covers my eye! that looks ace! now let me carry my stack of cardboard boxes around the subway, pushing people out of the way and making an ass of myself!"

i drew a picture of that lady. here it is.

lady, you are a tool. not as much of a tool as the lady who stole my seat, but still. there's a continuum and you're pretty far to the tool side.

UPDATE: this morning, after having two (2) seats stolen literally out from under my ass, a very nice man in a pink shirt and blue tie gave me his seat. thank you, nice man. you saved my morning. you're my favorite.

"I would pay a hooker money just to scratch my back"

2006-05-15T10:08:00.001-04:00

I've decided that, as much as possible, my blog titles will be things I overhear. The above title was overheard whilst in line for the loo at Vol de Nuit (beer garden in the village). There was a couple sitting to the side of the line; the guy said that his back was itchy, then said he'd hire a hooker to scratch it for him. to which the girlfriend replied, "what does that say about me?" Good question, lame girl. Good question.

Saturday I spent the day perusing Just Kids Nostalgia (a collectables shop that also has records and cds), which was pretty awesome. I found the soundtrack to the Battlefield Earth BOOK. COMPOSED BY L.RON.HUBBARD.

I want to be clear about this. It is the soundtrack to the BOOK. not the movie. and inside there are descriptions of all of the "songs" and the "religion". pretty awesome. If I had a record player I would have bought it.

All in all it was a nice day in Huntington with the Farrells. I helped with the table of complimentary snacks. and ate too much costco brand guacamole. it was tasty.

Sunday, not to rock the boat, Castle Greyskull FC (after an early lead that really pissed the other team off) lost again to FC Hammer. Drew got into a row with one of the girls who took offense to the fact that he was playing soccer like he meant it. Apparently, guys on other teams can beat the Greyskull girls up (like the soccer ball that Insha took to the nose yesterday) but the minute we're in the lead, our guys are bullies. go figure.

Don't worry, Drew didn't beat anyone up, and we lost the lead after the first half and ended the game down 3-1. Par for the course, really. I think we played pretty well. Will scored in the first half, and we had some seriously solid defense. Our downfall, you see, was this kid, Jamie, who is not in the league and doesn't know anyone on any of the teams. He was hanging out at the field asking if he could join a game. When Marty confronted the other team about their obvious ringer (he had also asked us if he could play and we told him no because we're good people and don't hate freedom), they said, "no, he's on the team." liars. lying liars of lies. We could have beat them if not for that kid. he had happy feet. Oh well. As I told Seth, we wouldn't want to ruin our streak anyway.

"sorry, i was barfing; i didn't hear you."

2006-05-12T11:15:00.000-04:00

Last night was baseball night, as sheena has described in far better detail than i have the patience for.

the quote in this post's title was overheard, by me, in the ladies room at yankee stadium some time in the bottom of the sixth. i thought it was pretty awesome. mostly because the girl was so matter of fact about it. no embarrassment, no fishing for empathy. nope. she was barfing. she didn't hear the other girl. no big deal. these yankee fans are insane.

as sheena has said, it was the best baseball game i've ever attended, and one of the most exciting games i've seen. very close, low scoring, the win up in the air pretty much the whole game. Hideki's horrific injury was very sad. mostly because it means that his streak of consecutive games is over. he has played in 518 consecutive MLB games (1,720 if you include his Japanese League games). Can you imagine? i can't go three weeks at work without taking at least a few hours off work. jeez. this guy is a manimal.

sorry, hideki. i hope the wrist heals quickly. Columbia-Pres is a good hospital. and i used to work next to the orthopaedic surgery wing - they're nice guys over there. always helped me when i was carrying boxes. good kids. if you want to grab lunch or something, i could show you around the neighborhood. there's a really good chinese place down the block. for serious.

anyway, a happy early birthday to sheena and Go You Redsox.

bottle openers generally take the cork out of the bottle

2006-05-11T12:55:00.000-04:00

Last night we had a lovely dinner with Josh, Seth, and Andy. Sheena made an awesome Burmudian Rum Cake - seriously the best rum cake I've had since I was in the Cayman Islands, and I made a nice stir fry. Since I got the recipe from Cook's Illustrated, it was also the most labor-intensive stir fry I've ever made. Seriously. And it tasted pretty damned good, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and when I was opening the bottle of wine that Josh brought (which was a delightful Burgundy from 2003) with my newly (garage sale) acquired awesome wine opener, it pushed the cork INTO the bottle and splurted wine all over the place. It was awesome. Andy, with the agility of a cat, avoided getting covered. I, on the other hand, got a wine facial. I think it's an exfoliant. The wine was salvaged, never fear. I'm giving the bottle opener another chance.

TONIGHT we venture into the heart of darkness to see wakefield pitch against chacon. This game is my birthday present for sheena. when i thought of it, about a month ago, i was determined to keep it a secret. so i emailed sheena to tell her to save the date. that there was a surprise. and then i just couldn't keep it in any more. here's an example of how i can't keep a secret:

me: ok
are you there?
12:45 PM ARE YOU THERE????
---------------------------------------5 minutes
12:50 PM
Sheena: yes I am there
um, here
me: ok.
ok.
you have to save a date.
i am very excited.
Sheena: what?
me: it is a surprise.
you cannot make any plans for Thursday, May 11.
from 7:05 on.
because........
Sheena: hmmm
me: we will be celebrating your birthday
AT YANKEE STADIUM WITH THE REDSOX!!!!!!
Sheena: oh my god!

I mean, I HAVE kept secrets in the past. But it's way hard.