Before I recount the amazing snippets of conversation at the Smithsonian Information Castle (and cafe), I would like you to ponder the title of this post. Think to yourselves: what could they possibly be doing at Notre Dame that Justin would love? Let me describe the scene to you: Christmas tree decorated with faux orchids (very nice). Man #1 is a fifty-something white dude with a sweet mullet. He is speaking to two friends, one of whom is Justin. I think. (capitalization mine, to show my incredulity)
Dude: So did you hear what they're doing at Notre Dame? Justin's gonna love this. JUSTIN!!
Justin: yeah?
Dude: So did you hear what they're doing at Notre Dame? They're spraying FOX URINE on the students' Christmas trees to discourage them bringing the trees to school.
Justin: mumble mumble mumble
Dude: FOX URINE! they're spraying the trees when the kids bring them in!
Justin: mumble mumble mumble
Dude: I mean, I don't see them SPRAYING THE KNEES OF STUDENTS WHEN THEY'RE PRAYING TO ALLAH!
at this point, I ran away.
first of all, I don't think any school allows students to bring in real trees because they're a, you know, fire hazard. We weren't allowed to light incense or a candle, so I'm pretty sure a Christmas tree was out of the question.
secondly, fox urine? really? how does one collect said fox urine? and why why why would a prestigious college/university bother to SPRAY FOX URINE ON CHRISTMAS TREES???
thirdly, I don't even have the words for that last statement. spray fox urine on the knees of students praying to allah? COME ON!
I have many more stories about my adventures in the wilds of D.C., but they'll have to wait until I can upload some pictures (highlights of which include my dad flipping off the white house, a prairie dog, and my sister holding up the washington monument)
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7 comments:
well I am speechless.
i know, right?
No, seriously, this happened to me one time! I asked a professer if I could reschedule an exam he was giving on Good Friday and he sprayed me with Fox Urine!! It's a total bullshit liberal intelligentsia conspiracy against Christian students.
Also, could you get Justin's number for me?
Wait, I don't think I get it. What kind of spayer are they using? Like a paint sprayer? Or a squirt bottle? I mean, I need more details. I really do.
HEY DUDES. THEY'RE SPRAYING FOX URINE ON THE TREES SO THAT THE STUDENTS WON'T CUT THEM DOWN AND BRING THEM INTO THE DORMS AND USE THEM FOR XMAS TREES. WHEN THE SPRAYED TREES WARM UP, ONE WILL BEGIN TO EXPERIENCE THE AMBIENCE OF A FOX OUT-HOUSE TO THE EXTENT THAT CEASING BREATHING WILL BE CONSIDERED A VIABLE CHOICE TO THE ASSAULT ON THE OLFACTORY NERVES. IN OTHER WORDS, IT WILL STINK LIKE HELL.
yeah. i got that.
do people actually cut down trees at school and bring them into their rooms?
going to school in an arboretum made that not an issue for us.
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