a day in the life

I believe that, because I haven't posted anything all week, I've lost the few loyal readers I had. Mom, Dad, come back to the blog. I'm sorry.

There's been many happenings that have kept me from, you know, narcissistically sharing my life with the unknown denizens of the internet. Mostly it's been the fact that Sheena has decided to move home to New Hampshire, and I've spent the last few weeks coming to terms with that. Some of you may know that Sheena and I were freshman year roomates in college. I still remember talking to her for the first time - I was sitting on my parents bed, my sister was staring at me expectantly, as Sheena and I figured out who would bring the stereo and who would bring the fridge (my stereo, her fridge). Toward the end of the conversation she said something was "wicked awesome". Now, growing up in Los Angeles, I had never ever in my life heard someone use that phrase. I hung up the phone in a daze, looked at my sister, and said "she said it was wicked awesome. is that a good thing?" Apparently it was, because we've been best friends ever since. And I'm not sure how I'll manage in the real world without her. Thankfully she has taught me many things - like how to properly mop a kitchen floor, clean a bathroom, and be married to someone. Ah my wife, how I will miss living with you. Check this girl out. Can you blame me for being too sad to post? I can't.


Luckily, I scored a room in Josh's apartment, and will move in next month. At least I will have the benefit of living with some of my other friends (a benefit that Sheena sadly does not share, although she gets to live with Hayley and the dude (scroll down to the video), so you know, it's not all bad). I'm sure I will document the process of throwing out half of my belongings so that I can fit in my new room. I will live an ascetic life. Yes. Also I will be going to IKEA soon. Anyone who wants to join is welcome.

Now I just have to learn to motivate myself to cook. Deliveries of meals will be appreciated. It's not that I can't cook - I can cook pretty well - it's just that Sheena can cook so much better than I can. But I digress.

This caught my eye this morning: A Corpse Flower is Blooming in the Botanical Gardens.

I feel like I read about this flower in A Series of Unfortunate Events or something. The flower smells like putrefying meat to attract very specific beetles and sweat bees. Talk about your awesome evolutionary tricks.

If only my nose were not as sensitive as it is (last night we took out the trash and a soy sauce marinade had leaked into the trash can. Faster than you can make a gagging noise, I had that trashcan filled with bleach and in the tub, filling with water. It's a gift, really), I would visit said flower. But, knowing myself and the fact that no one wants to accompany a friend to see a flower that smells like death, not to mention holding back my hair as I vomit all over said flower, I think I'll miss it this time. It's been 67 years since this flower bloomed in New York. I think I can wait another 67 years - by that time my nose probably won't work anymore. Also, it looks like a penis.