and the final plummet.

it's just a jump to the left.

and then a step to the riiiiiiiiight.

let's do the time warp. again.

happy new year.

step one down my road to hell...

i think sheena might be the only one who reads this thing who has met my uncle rob. and i'm sorry. but step one down my road to hell is to tell you all what uncle rob is doing for new years. step two will be a picture of uncle rob in costume at rocky horror picture show. but i'd like to keep that to make sure i'm not struck down after talking about the new years plans.

so my uncle rob (my mom's sister) is a good hearted human being. he is 55 or so. he lives with my grandma. i hope he doesn't figure out that i have a blog. he's a little scary looking. although, when i saw him at hannukah dinner he'd cleaned up a bit - shaved and cut his hair - very exciting.

anyway, rob shared his plans for the new year with us, and there were tears.

apparently my uncle (who's never had a relationship with anyone lasting more than a few dates) is going to a "cuddle party". according to him, this involves singles meeting at a bar or someone's house or some place. they then "hug and cuddle" by permission only. there is also kissing, again only by permission. i think you will all understand the horror when i show you the picture of rob. needless to say, our family has talked of little else since sunday night.

that's all i got for now. i have to figure out how to scan in the photo. wish me luck.

and a happy hannukah to you, too.

just think of how many more latkes you could eat if you too had two heads.

man. that's gross.

music is my airplane

so i survived the great transit strike of 2005 (by not going in to work, but still, i was stuck in the slope) and made it to the lovely santa monica canyon. to the right you'll see my christmas...er...hannukah bush. it was a gorgeous day today, and we were going to go to the beach, but then the fog rolled in (much like in stephen king's the mist - dinosaurs, dragons, scary things) and it got too cold. but my dad and i participated in the traditional los angeles past-time -- complaining with the neighbor about a monstrosity being built next door. it's terrible. really. the neighborhood's going to shit in a shit basket.

that's all i got. happy christmas eve to everyone and to everyone a happy hannukah!

i just can't take it anymore.

really, twu. just rip off the band-aid and say whether or not you're on strike. sweet jeebus. it's 12:30. if you punk out and don't go on strike i'll have to wake up in about 5 hours to get to effing work on time.

not that i want the twu to go on strike. no. i, like sheena, love LOVE the twu. i love the subway.

i just need things to happen at a reasonable time.

please.

looks like someone's got a case of the mondays.

that someone would be me. awesome.

kindred spirit

so i enjoy cupcake's comments on our blogs, but haven't really started to read her blog regularly (sorry cupcake!). that is, until today when i saw that she also knits, and has lots of knitting blog links on her page. awesome! i knit too! i taught sheena how to knit, and sometimes we knit together. usually i make scarves. because i don't have the attention span to use patterns. right now, however, i'm making a hat. it's very exciitng. it has (or will have, eventually) earflaps. it's for sheena.

that's all i got. i'm dealing with my completely selfish disappointment at the lack of subway strike. i really wanted to stay home and knit and play the violin and watch the movies we have. (cold mountain, silver springs, bride and prejudic). but instead, i'm at work. dealing with asshats. thank god we have leftovers from yesterday's holiday party. and by left overs, i obviously mean the bottle of jameson that my boss brought.

that is all.

is this some kind of new age chain letter??

(i included this picture of me so you can imagine that i'm actually talking to you as you read this. i am, in fact, waxing poetic. or something)

ok. as per sheena (and cupcake's) request, here are seven songs "i am into". let me preface this by saying that i have (what some have been known to call) eclectic (or really weird) taste in music. i play classical music a lot, but don't listen to it. i also try to avoid any and all radio stations. that being said, here we go.

1) going to georgia - atom and his package (and also the one by the mountain goats, although the mg's version is a little heavy on the despair and lighter on the funny than the atom and his package version). i definitely try to start every day by listening to that song.

2) no children - the mountain goats (this song is about a bad marriage. now, let me be clear. i am not NOT in a bad marriage, nor do i think that if i were i would like this song. it's a sad song, but musically is friggin awesome... much like all of the mountain goats songs. (i also love broom people, by the same band).

3) sad eyed lady of the lowlands - bob dylan (i am a huge (in thirty point font) fan of bobby zimmerman, and this is one of my faves at the moment. i also love absolutely sweet marie a lot).

4) laid - james (i never knew what this song was called but always loved it when it played on bar jukeboxes. now i know what it's called and we own it and it makes my life about twenty times better. it should really be three times as long as it is).

5) white rabbit - jefferson airplane (another one that shoudl be much longer than it is. my friend's band Brazztree (on itunes if you're interested, but not the cover) does an awesome cover. way better than the original, i promise).

6) fanfare for the common man - copeland (awesome awesome awesome. that's all i can say. also that w.g. snuffy walden stole a good chunk of this piece for his West Wing Theme Song. bastard).

7) you were always on my mind - ryan adams and the cardinals (i love the original, and realized my longstanding love whilst watching the levi's commercial that ruined the song, but this cover is pretty damned good. i wish he'd played it at the concert i went to. oh well. c'est la vie, n'est pas?)

there they are. no order. no sense. and i'm drunk. so there.

I LOVE WORK HOLIDAY PARTIES! so much awkwardness, so much wine, so much sushi. mmmmmmmmm. am i supposed to do actual work now?


oh. i tag gil, josh, oh who am i kidding. no one reads this piece of shit.

unicorns shmunicorns

dude. there is nothing cooler than a narwhal. i mean, aside from the giant and super giant squids. but the squids don't have unicorn horns. so there.

the lion, the witch, and the AWESOME

Who's pumped for Narnia??? oh i am. so so pumped.

now, as a young jewish child i loved LOVED the cartoon movie. my cousins and i used to watch it over and over and over again. and i never picked up on the christian story (i know, it was always winter and never christmas andy, i know, but i was young and jewish, it just didn't compute).

and i'm really really excited to see the movie, but i'm a little worried the now i'll be too focused on the aslan-as-jesus thing to truly appreciate it. i'm going to try, don't get me wrong. i'm ready for a rollicking magical time. but i'm a little nervous.

i'm telling you, people, no more dying.

Meg Perry, vassar class of '02, died on saturday when her bus (the Frida Bus) took an offramp too fast and flipped over (onto meg, apparently).

Meg was definitely what one would call a "free spirit" and pretty much followed her bliss her whole life. I'm not claiming to have been a good friend of meg's, but we were definitely friendly through my years at vassar. I just thought i should put something out there. i know you guys didn't know her very well, but she was a vassar kid nonetheless.

i don't know any details about memorial services in the area (there was one on sunday in new orleans) but if you're interested, you can email me and i'll find out some info from ian.

a rory update.

i've been told that my rory-bbgun story might not have sunk in with everyone. this is my cousin. he is actually related to me. we are of one family. he has a bbgun. he is now 9 months old.

here are two more pictures of rory with his new toy.


Here is rory. apparently taking a dump. or something















and here is Rory, trying to figure out how to take the safety off so he can kill something to eat for dinner.

just because it's a friday doesn't mean we shouldn't learn stuff... right?

This is the world's largest pencil.

It is found in, obviously, Germany.

of course they get a little anti-semetic at footie games, they spend all of their time working hard, creating giant pencils. that's gotta take it out of a guy, righit? i mean, look at the grip! and it really writes too.

sigh. those germans. a-mazing.

also, when did mel turn into the unibomber?

apparently wacko mel, son of a holocaust denier, is trying to make a miniseries about the holocaust...

that's all.

why is my life controlled by the "most-emailed pictures" section on the my.yahoo page??

i don't know why, but it gives me joy (and sometimes brings tears to my eyes) to see what the american (and whoever else who uses yahoo) people spend their day emailing.


today is no exception, as sam, the ugliest dog ever, makes it to the top spot. again. for like the bazillionth time. i mean, really, aren't we tired of this picture? i've been to the website. there are way more, and uglier, pictures than this. but this is what we get, every time. come on, people, let's get on the ball with this.

****ok, i just went to the website to get more interesting pictures and saw something sad... sam died. on november 18th. i guess that's why he's back in the most emailed pictures. and i'm an asshole. obviously. sorry sam. may you rest in peace. below you will find a photo-memorial to sam. i just couldn't resist. i know what my nightmare will be tonight...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

this reminds me of my 12th grade health class...

No, really. When Miss Leet wanted to teach us about how to use a condom, she pulled out a giant black dildo and showed us how to put on a condom. That's the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this picture.
(The Obelisk of Buenos Aires is covered with a giant condom to commemorate World AIDS Day December 1, 2005. According to a report issued by ONUSIDA (UN AIDS), the number of people infected with the HIV virus in Latin America had risen over the last year from 1.6 to 1.8 million. REUTERS/Enrique Marcarian)

The second thing that came to my mind was when, in my 12th grade health class (for ESL students), the principle was announcing the various club meetings that were happening that day, and she said that the Thespians were meeting at lunch, and one of the Jose's (I don't think it was Jose Apollo, but maybe it was) said, "oh man, they're having meetings now? that's disgusting!" and then i had to teach the many Jose's the difference between Thespians and Lesbians.

Definitely a high point in my time at a Los Angeles Unified School District high school.

the last time i held a bb gun i shot a hole in my friend's window...

true story! i was pumping the gun (the better to shoot the coke can in the back yard through his bedroom window) and the safety was off and i shot the window instead.

but now my 9 month old cousin can take up the mantle of bb guns.

his grandma (not mine) gave him a bbgun. i can only assume it was an early christmas present. either that, or a happy 8-months present, because it happened last month.

but look how happy he is!!