for those of you who are not familiar with my life, i have a pretty long commute. i live in park slope and work at columbia presbyterian hospital, which is up at 168th street. so, i spend a good two and a half hours on the train every day. sometimes i read. sometimes i sleep. usually, on my way home, i knit. because after eight hours of staring at a computer and dealing with idiots, i can't really focus my eyes.
TODAY, i left work on time (which is pretty rare) and got on my beloved A train up at 168th and broadway. usually i can find a seat right away, but today the platform was pretty crowded so i ended up standing with my back to the doors. this was fine by me because i could start knitting and scope out a seat. so we get to 145, people get off the train, and the seats are immediately taken. fine. 125. same story. getting a little annoyed (and footsore). 59th, finally a seat opens up. i see it, make a beeline and, what's this? an overweight lady waltzes onto the train and swoops in. (much like the time in seinfeld when george's parking spot is stolen).
so, of course, i stand there with my mouth hanging open, knitting in hand, and douchebag-ess pulls out her friggin nymetro and starts reading. ok. here's the thing. i am a good person. i appreciate that i am an able-bodied twenty-something (sorry about the hyphens, sheena). seriously, i probably would have given you the seat if you asked, overweight lady. you're carrying around a lot of baggage and your heart is probably tired. i would have stood up for you. BUT YOU STOLE MY SEAT. so now i hate you with all of my soul.
i ended up not getting a seat for the entire commute. even the F train bit.
while i was fuming (and knitting), some douchey lady came onto the train wearing a total douchebag baseball cap so jauntily that it actually covered part of her right eye. i mean, come on. you look in the mirror and think, "sweet! the hat covers my eye! that looks ace! now let me carry my stack of cardboard boxes around the subway, pushing people out of the way and making an ass of myself!"
i drew a picture of that lady. here it is.
lady, you are a tool. not as much of a tool as the lady who stole my seat, but still. there's a continuum and you're pretty far to the tool side.
UPDATE: this morning, after having two (2) seats stolen literally out from under my ass, a very nice man in a pink shirt and blue tie gave me his seat. thank you, nice man. you saved my morning. you're my favorite.
3 comments:
C.J. says:
If you lived where the sun always shines, you'd only have to get stressed over people who don't let you into the exit lane.
And earthquakes.
That sounds much worse. I saw a black squirrel today, it made my week. I am simple.
That drawing is awesome Claire.
Sometimes a man will randomly offer me his seat and I feel great! Then I realize that when I'm sitting down and he's standing over me he can see down my shirt. I'm not saying I'm above showing a little boob to get a seat on a crowded rush hour train, but this does seem like the kind of thing my father warned me would happen in the big city.
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