bottle openers generally take the cork out of the bottle

Last night we had a lovely dinner with Josh, Seth, and Andy. Sheena made an awesome Burmudian Rum Cake - seriously the best rum cake I've had since I was in the Cayman Islands, and I made a nice stir fry. Since I got the recipe from Cook's Illustrated, it was also the most labor-intensive stir fry I've ever made. Seriously. And it tasted pretty damned good, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and when I was opening the bottle of wine that Josh brought (which was a delightful Burgundy from 2003) with my newly (garage sale) acquired awesome wine opener, it pushed the cork INTO the bottle and splurted wine all over the place. It was awesome. Andy, with the agility of a cat, avoided getting covered. I, on the other hand, got a wine facial. I think it's an exfoliant. The wine was salvaged, never fear. I'm giving the bottle opener another chance.

TONIGHT we venture into the heart of darkness to see wakefield pitch against chacon. This game is my birthday present for sheena. when i thought of it, about a month ago, i was determined to keep it a secret. so i emailed sheena to tell her to save the date. that there was a surprise. and then i just couldn't keep it in any more. here's an example of how i can't keep a secret:

me: ok
are you there?
12:45 PM ARE YOU THERE????
---------------------------------------5 minutes
12:50 PM
Sheena: yes I am there
um, here
me: ok.
ok.
you have to save a date.
i am very excited.
Sheena: what?
me: it is a surprise.
you cannot make any plans for Thursday, May 11.
from 7:05 on.
because........
Sheena: hmmm
me: we will be celebrating your birthday
AT YANKEE STADIUM WITH THE REDSOX!!!!!!
Sheena: oh my god!

I mean, I HAVE kept secrets in the past. But it's way hard.

yes. yes.

this is entitled "meet you at the intersection". it has made my effing day.

comic borrowed from none other than toothpastefordinner.com

well, it's obvious that skeletor is out to get us.

Castle Greyskull FC had another rousing game yesterday. Marty recruited Bill, a keeper for the red team, and his girlfriend Leah to play with us, which was nice. because new blood is always nice, and they are very good players. But we didn't warn Bill the Keeper and Leah about the Greyskull curse.

(So, I don't know if you know the curse that greyskull has been carrying lo these many months. We've lost two of our rostered players to pretty serious injuries. Nora took a kick to the leg that twisted her knee something aweful, and Owen went down with something like three torn ligaments in his ankle. none of the other teams we've ever played have had injuries during the game.)

Anyway, the game began normally enough, we had some good almost goals and were pretty awesome on the defense, with the amazing help of Bill the Keeper. he's a pretty intense player, but very nice. Last week he was the keeper who hugged my leg and took me down because he was afraid that he'd destroy my knee if he didn't. thanks, Bill. This week, during one of the corner kicks, he actually yelled "I GO" and then shoved me out of the way so that he could defend his goal. I didn't really mind, i was more surprised than hurt, but Vlad (our ukranian ref) gave him a talking to and told him he'd card him if he didn't stop "pushing girls". oh, vlad, i love you in shorts.

Anyway, here we were, at the end of the first half (i think we were already down by 2), and the blue team came up to our goal, there was a flury of defending, Bill the Keeper leapt into the air, and immediately started screaming. like before he landed he was screaming. at first (and this is embarrassing to say), i thought he was just hamming it up to get some sort of direct kick for us. and i thought, "way to ham it up, Bill the Keeper! this is just what we need! a little dramatics!" but then, a split second later, when he was rolling on the ground screaming, "oh god, oh god no, oh god no" i decided that he probably wasn't hamming it up.

Apparently Bill the Keeper heard popping in his knee, and couldn't move the bottom half of his leg. not a good sign. Will called the ambulance and we started playing the second half, but it was hard to keep the focus up, what with Bill the Keeper sitting on the steps. Seth stepped into the net and did a fabulous job of defending. We ended the game at, i think, 5-0. not the majestic comeback we had been hoping for after last week, but i think we all played pretty well.

I wish there was some way for us to be rid of the curse of skeletor! can we burn something? do a dance around the teamgeist? anything? I just feel bad, because Bill the Keeper was doing us a favor. He's not even on the team. and now his knee's all disconnected and shit.

Now we only have two more games, so if you want to come and cheer greyskull on, you're running out of time. It's way fun. you can bring us more orange slices!! also, you can be there to ride in the ambulance with whomever falls subject to the curse next. i hope it's not vlad.

i hate you, lost. look what you've turned me into.

this morning. i walked into the office and said, "did anyone see lost last night?" and then i tried to kill myself because i turned into that girl who talks about tv at work. i hate that girl.

god. at least i wasn't asking if anyone had seen american idol. or grey's anatomy. because that kind of talk at work makes me want to lift up my monitor and place it squarely on my head. hard-like.

so, to my co-workers, i'm sorry that i asked if anyone watched lost (they do not. they watch american idol and grey's anatomy and reality tv).

to lost - i'm sorry baby. i didn't mean it. i was angry. please take me back.

i KNEW it!!

ok. so yesterday the sky looked menacing. it was cloudy, and there were dark rain clouds that seemed to follow a line through the sky. i got on the F train and, as is my wont, was watching the neighborhood fly past the window when i noticed that the line of grey cloud might actually be a tower of smoke coming from some distant point. it was really awesome looking.

so when i got to work i asked, "does anyone know if anything is burning in brooklyn?" of course, there was no reply. because my coworkers tend to ignore things i say. they are awesome. obviously.

anyway, i searched on the internet machine and nothing popped up. nothing on nytimes, nothing on cnn. i thought that it was just a normal industrial smoke thing going on.

THEN, this morning i spotted an article in someone else's New York AM about some fire in Brooklyn. YES! not that i'm happy there was a fire, mind you. it seems that an area of warehouse buildings (suspiciously owned by one guy who's slowly turning the empty warehouses into condos on the waterfront) totally burst into flames yesterday morning. like for serious flames. it was a 10 alarm fire. the worst since 9/11. (full nytimes story here) it seems pretty sketchy. especially because there's been a bit of a kerfuffle about yuppifying the area. the older residents are none too happy.

i would just like to say i knew it. and i told them so. and they don't care, so i'm telling you.

vigilante grammarians unite!!

The Vigilante Grammarians have begun our campaign. Last night Sheena and I were wandering around on 2nd ave, heading to closing night of Lynne's awesome show (What Women Talk About), and we passed by one of the many bars that line the street.

There was a chalkboard sign out front advertising the upcoming Yankees v. Redsox game (which was, incidently, rained out). Now, here's what the sign actually said: "Yankee's v Redsox tonite"

Completely ignoring the obnoxious spelling of "tonite", do we see the problem here, people? so Sheena and I did what any red blooded American grammar snob would do; we erased the apostrophe. (should have documented said erasing, i know). Immediately after the sign was fixed, a drunk man behind us shouted, "what are you, redsox fans?" to which I replied, "we're just not apostrophe fans" and sheena added, "but we ARE redsox fans".

Here's the thing. as evidenced by this post, i'm not up on all of my grammar rules. i don't know when to use a semi colon instead of a colon. i vacilate between the american and british rules regarding punctuation after quotation marks. but BUT i DO know when to use an apostrophe. and when to rub that apostrophe out. and, by god, that's what i'm going to do.

who's with me????

claire is rule the world

borrowing from toby's post, i know, but i was just invited a myspace group entitled "claire's rule the world".

here's the message i got: Hello claire, Claire has invited you to join Claire's rule the world! on MySpace.

OK. now. let us move past the fact that someone has created this club. because i just don't have the energy this morning for that. and can someone please explain to me why i would ever want to join any club on myspace, let alone a club of claires? are we all friends becasue we have the same name? and, i shit you not, one of the comment threads is all of the claires listing their middle names, and getting excited when they have the same middle name as another claire. oh. my. god. let us not get into that today.

let us focus on the apostrophe (because i'll have a brain embolism or something if i have to keep talking about the claire group).

come on, people!! get it together! i know they're fun looking and contractions are awesome. but let us use a little restraint, ok? see what i just did there? i did not use a contraction! i spelled out both of the words. because sometimes (most often when there are PLURAL FORMS BEING USED) the apostrophe is just not the answer.

end rant.

guh.

what happens when you combine a swanky club, a pretty shitty day at work, free tequila (free free), and some pretty awesome music?

um. i believe that is what the kids are calling the funky chicken.

i don't think we were actually doing the funky chicken. Hamish just caught us in an inopportune moment. i hope. i don't remember. (chris - were we doing the funky chicken?) it was fun. seth danced with a girl. i still have VIP stamped on my hand. sweet.

click here for more pictures.

we capped off the night at the knitting factory watching the K's perform. needless to say, i felt like a butt this morning.

Thanks, CITY magazine!!!

haircuts up the wazoo... or ... hairapalooza

Sheena and I had a haircut date today. You may not be able to see the cuts in their full glory, but sheena's looks fantastic, if i do say so myself. mine is also nice. sheena says i look like my mom a lot now.

Also seen in above photo are the socks that Ms. Cupcake made for us. they are AWESOME!!! some day. some day, i hope to make socks. maybe cupcake can help me. just maybe. 

ah huuuuaaaahhh??

So, apparently, they are planning to build a WATER THEME PARK. on RANDALL'S ISLAND.

isn't nyc enough of a draw? we need a theme park to draw new visitors? ummmm.... gross.

so much bacteria. so much athlete's foot.

i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

a tale of two dinners

this past saturday night saw me eating two (2) huge dinners, one right after the other. the first was at Franny's in the North Flatbush/Bergen area of Brooklyn. My cousin's husband orchestrated a surprise dinner extravaganza, and it was nice. I'd never been to Franny's before and i must say that the pizza was very tasty. And they also have vegan pizza, which is always an appetizing option for us lactose intolerants.

a mere hour later i was on my way to dinner numero dos. my friend, Tyler, bartends at a trendy steak/mussels place in tribeca called landmarc. we go there sometimes to visit and drink really good gin. tyler has also waited on jon stewart a bunch of times. (apparently he's very nice and tips extremely well. as if we needed more reasons to adore him). But I digress...

the guy who owns landmarc has opened/is opening a new restaurant called ditch plains on Bergen in the west village. this will be a seafood restaurant, named after a beach on long island, and modeled after a "montauk seafood shack" or something. so we got to go during the preview stage and have a fantastic (free) dinner. Below you will see the remains of the table.

we had: oysters on the half shell, oyster shooters, fried clams, a basket of cured meats, grits with chorizo, grits with lobster, baked mac 'n cheese, shrimp, wine, key lime pie, chocolate cake, carrot cake, and a can of whipped cream. am I missing anything?

it was amazing. I highly recommend.

needless to say, i couldn't really walk after the meal. i waddled. i wish i could get awesome free dinners every weekend. Thanks, Tyler!!

we have the power!!!!

We had yet another fantastic soccer game yesterday - Castle Greyskull FC really pumped up the jams, as it were. "Handsome" Fain scored a beautiful goal, after which many of the members of FC Hammer (our opponents) clapped and cheered for us. Tera and Marty were almost unstoppable on the field, and Insha took one for the team - in the chest. Seth and Chris had some very nice runs, and Sheena and I worked the defense pretty well, if i do say so myself. I think Vlad, the ref, is a big fan of Greyskull as he gave us many good calls that we probably didn't deserve. Thanks, Vlad!

Luckily it stopped raining long enough for us to finish our game, but the water gathered under the artificial turf and, as such, the keepers were wading through a few inches of water, diving into lakes to save us from a more humiliating defeat. I think the final score was something like 8-1. But at least we got the one, right?

Hopp Greyskull.

come on people, i need help.

So. Allergies. Hmmmm?

To your left you will see HayFever causing pollen. This is the enemy, people. I'm almost sure of it.

Growing up in Sunny SoCal, I had no experience with allergies (aside from hearing horror stories about how miserable my dad was when he lived in new york and then in washington d.c.). I think the main reason my parents stayed in Los Angeles was the fact that my dad wasn't allergic to much there.

And then I moved to New York.

I don't really know the mechanisms (I'll just have to check wikipedia on this), but for some reason I have allergies now. Either I have allergies, or my brain is exploding and I'm losing my mind. I mean, this is a distinct possibility. So I took some alavert yesterday, to help with my fuzzy headed sneezing craziness. and I am happy to report that I have not sneezed all day. awesome.

BUT. instead of sneezing with a fuzzy head. now i'm just sitting here at my computer feeling all crazy like. who knows a good allergy medicine that won't make me catatonic at work??? let's go! everyone get in on this.

it's going to be a very long allergy season if we don't figure this out! because i'm not one to suffer in silence.

don't say i never said that i said what i said

OK. I am going to pull my old most-emailed-picture-post thing. I just couldn't resist. This, apparently, is Kimani. OK. very cute little monkey. the point, though, is that HER MOTHER WAS NAMED PRESIDENT OF THE EFFING ZOO. ok. i know this is a publicity thing. i know that the animals don't actually get together and vote for president of the animals.

but what i'm presupposing is, what if they did?

those silly kids at the boston zoo. a monkey can't be president!! oh wait. never mind.

at least kimani got lettuce at the party.

once more, this time with more exposition

OK.

Last night, Sheena, Seth, Chris, Josh and I saw Lucky Number SLevin.

Man oh man was it bad. ok. no. let me amend that. the first forty minutes were ok. and then they pretty much played the first forty minutes again. with voice overs. explaining every single thing. i mean, the wrap up was as long as the movie. Also, it was trying really hard to be a mamet film, but it was not. not. not.

as seth said on our walk home, if you spent the last half of the movie pretending you were watching the Usual Suspects, it was pretty awesome. i mean, what a movie! the wrap up? fifteen seconds. and then you spent the next few days working the rest out on your own. unlike slevin. no, we had to watch the gratuitous violence twice. and then there was suffocation. it was icky.


i didn't like it.

here is a picture of my dog at home, Sasha. I like Sasha.

Also I spent the weekend in Huntington, which was very nice and fun. We spent Saturday night playing a round robin tetris tournament. my thumbs hurt a lot now. and when i close my eyes, tetrinos are falling. falling. falling to freedom.

Then I helped to hide the easter eggs. the lesson I learned (because this was my first easter) is that you should always count how many eggs you're hiding. and remember where you put them.

chag sameach, mother f**ker.

Happy Passover!!! In celebration of one of my favorite holidays josh, seth, and chris joined sheena and myself for our very first grown-up seder (pictures will be forthcoming from josh and/or sheena).

So, obviously, I had my mom send me the seder plate I made when I was 3 and some extra haggadot for the occasion. My mom said (hi mom!) that they had recently bought new haggadahs and so she would send me the old ones. Now, we've been using the Family Concise Seder for about six or seven years now, so I figured these had been retired and I would get to use them.

No. Mom was talking about the Passover Haggadah, printed in 1981 and unseen by my eyes since maybe 1987. I've included the first paragraph of the first page, just to give you a petit goux of the evening's entertainment. Below is an actual quote. I'm not paraphrasing. I swear.

"The redemption of the children of Israel from Egypt is the archetype - the first great historical instance and everlastingly inspiring example - of all liberations of oppressed and enslaved peoples. In the heart of our people, it is indelibly inscribed as Israel's primal birth of freedom - the grand Divinely ordered step leading to our acceptance of the Sacred Torah at Sinai and our march through the desert to glorious nationhood in the Promised Land."

wow, right? wow indeed. Also, we were supposed to tell the wicked son that if he had been in Egypt with the slaves, he would have been left behind. because he's a tool.

We made our way through the service, Seth sang the four questions beautifully in a high, clear, pre-pubescent voice. We made and ate the Hillel sandwiches. And then to the dinner! Seth brought really really good matzah ball soup, Josh brought the Gefilte fish and horseradish, and I made brisket (which apparently tasted ok: it was an adventure as i've not cooked meat since i was about twelve). Sheena provided the amazing flourless chocolate cake, and we worked through quite a few bottles of pesadiccha wine. All in all, I think it was a success and I can't wait for next year! if not in jerusalem, then at least at my place with new haggadot.

oh! and seth found the afikomen. he got a dollar coin as a reward. sweet!

so wait. the point is to score MORE points?

Oh....hello.

This weekend saw another rousing defeat of Greyskull FC (read more here and here). We finally had almost a full squad and had to get used to being able to get tired and sub out. (as opposed to getting tired and falling down on the pitch). We played well (oh, except for that deflection I kicked into our own goal. man, that sucked). anyway, it was tons of fun. and Kathryn's mom brought us orange slices! awesome! the other team was way jealous.

Saturday Andy and I went rockclimbing again (is it possible that we're more sore this week than last?) and have decided it's more fun when there are more than two people climbing. so, who wants to go rock climbing with us?

On a completely unrelated note, I stole this picture from my cousin, JGreene, who is hip and with it and does movie things in la, although i'm not sure how much that affects his ability to spot creepy tabloid pictures of poor poor katie.

That's just not right. I didn't know that she wasn't pregnant. The question NOW is, whose baby are they going to steal?

i also like babies

so i get the stupid neighborhoodies emails every month. and i usually delete them. because i already have my dorkestra shirt and, you know, monthly newsletters are annoying.

anyway, point is, this month i didn't delet automatically - i went to the website and decided to check out the neighborhoodie of the week.

oh man.

this kid's name is Tegan.

TEGAN.

i heart pirates

ok. on a side note: bones last night was about pirates. specifically, blackbeard. i got the heads up from a friend at work because, while i may watch csi every night i can, i do have some limits to the crap i'll watch on tv, and i don't watch bones. unless csi isn't on. which it always is. but i digress.

the real purpose of this post is to further our search for the awesomest animal (living or extinct) and we might have gotten a step further...

ladies and gents, may i present the tiktaalik.........
This awesome fish/lizard/crazy thing is thought to be the first fish to jump onto land. it was anywhere from 4 to 9 feet long. and look at those fins/feet! so so cool.

that is all.

erotic thrillers lost steam at the box office

So Castle Greyskull FC came together again yesterday for an awesome game. We played a team called The Bohemians, who wore red. so obviously they're commies. all of them. red bohemian commies. also they played with a keeper who's not actually on their team (and who was, as mike said, a spaz) and also a very talented player named Franky who was also not actually on their team. so i don't feel so bad that we played our hearts out and got whupped 5-0. it was lots of fun anyway. we girls had no subs, so we played the whole game, and the guys only had one sub, so in essence they played the whole game too. also, there were no serious injuries (aside from a few bloody knees). AND i knocked franky down and made him cry, which was awesome. Because mr. Marty was away Will and Carrie played keeper - doing an admirable job i might add.

I also spent most of the day on saturday battling a stomach virus, which i tried to conquer by doing a little rock climbing and learning how to belay (holding the rope so the person who's climbing doesn't fall to his/her death). and now, monday, i've finally gotten the ability to grasp things with my hands back. man are my arms tired. So anyone who wants to go rock climbing, i can belay you. it'll be awesome.

all in all, an enjoyable weekend.



picture courtesy of www.phscardinals.org - thanks!!