bye bye, bruno.

This is very sad. Bruno has passed on. Boys, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Apparently, Bruno's chicken-killing rampage made everyone a little nervous, and the Bavarian government gave hunters the green light to get rid of him.

I like that the headline refers to him as "Bruno the celebrity bear".



picture respectfully borrowed from www.brunnvalla.ch

mellow velo

So, I went to the auto repair place under our apartment and asked the nice man at the air pump to, you guessed it, pump up the volume AND pump up the jams. (although i didn't actually use those words. i wanted him to actually pump up the tires, not call me crazy and kick me out of the garage).

Anyway, he was very nice and proceeded to pump up both the volume and the jams. but BUT when he got to the jams he said, "this looks bad. i don't think it'll hold. it looks like dry rot". i told him to go right ahead and try, because what did i have to lose? it turns out, he was right. i totally popped my tyre. (see? because the bike is british???)

he was exceedingly apologetic, which i found amusing because i'm the one who told him to blow up the tyre. at least i didn't have to go far to find a bike pump. if anyone is looking, the auto repair place on 14th and 4th ave is very accommodating.

hello velo ...or... let's pump up the volume, pump up the jams

Yesterday, as Sheena and I were returning from Lowe's with our curtains, magnetic paint, chalkboard paint, etc. (we have many projects in the works right now. our apartment is an exciting place), we passed a stoop sale on 5th ave. Now, i (and sheena as well) have been coveting a bike for quite some time. what i really wanted was an awesome old cruiser, onto which i could attach a basket and carry dogs or baguettes or cats or what have you.

And so, huzzah, as we passed the stoop sale, i saw an awesome old 3-speed cruiser (pictured to the left). i asked how much it cost, talked the guy down to an even $50, and took my new bike home! now all i need is to get a) a helmet because i will kill myself on this bike b) get a bike lock and c) i need to pump up the volume and pump up the jams. and by "volume" and "jams" i mean the front and back tires. of course.

so wish me luck, friends, on this new adventure. sheena and i will be zooming all over brooklyn now. we really need some streamers for the handles.

GENIUS!

so i have my ipod set to shuffle by album. and i'm currently listening to all of the greatest hits albums i have on shuffle. because they're all listed under "greatest hits".

so i am currently listening to a medly of cat stevens, the band, bob dylan, tom petty, and the cars.

it. is. awesome.

this is 168th street. have an incredible day.

As some of you may know, I had an incident with a spider bite a few years ago. Of course, as you can see to the left, the spider won. Similarly, I had an incident with a cold this past week. and I don't have a photo of it, but the cold definitely won. At some point during the weekend, I actually had mucus leaking out of my eyes. GROSS!

Anyway, I apologize profusely to anyone I may have infected. I blame my co-worker who came to work very sick about a week before I came down with the cold. She will pay. Do not worry. She. Will. Pay.

Good things DID come of the disgusting cold, however, as Andy and I played tons and tons of Katamari Damacy. Maybe one of the best and most original games ever. It's a single player game in which you roll a sticky ball around. Wait for it. The sticky ball picks up things. You start very small, picking up thumbtacks and paperclips, chocolate chips, etc. The more things you pick up, the bigger you get, the bigger the things you can pick up. So you move on to shoes, buckets, dogs, people, flowers, fences, cars, people, apartment buildings, islands, clouds, GIANT SQUID. It is so awesome. I tried to upload a picture of a katamari, but blogspot is being a douche. later, if you're lucky.

apologies for the lack of posting. it's a combo of non-interesting things and my complete lack of time during the day.

meow, do i look like a cat to you?

Hello Friends.

my what a weekend it has been. for full coverage of our 36-hour bender and soccer game, replete with pictures, i would direct you to sheena or josh's blogs. i don't have the pictures, the patience, or the talent to regale you with all of our adventures. i WILL give you a quick recap, as i have stayed home sick today and have a little time!

Friday night: sheena and i trekked to Whole Foods, bought eight pounds of Maine mussels, and tried very hard to get them home alive. as she has noted, the train was crowded and running local. lame. we all felt like a can of caviar. we made it after all and had a lovely picnic in our living room with josh, his new roomate katrin, lara, and seth. sheena made some delicious stuffed brie and we all feasted. Then we decided that, considering lara and katrin (a lovely german girl) were in america, we should do something decidedly american. so we took them bowling, of course. both of them bowled very well - apparently the boys all individually sidled up to lara, giving her discrete bowling advice. it was only the first line of boys to try to talk to lara this weekend.

saturday: the decision was made, some where in the fourth bucket of rocks on friday night, that we should all go to the brooklyn brewery on saturday, do the tour, hang out in the tasting room and get food. sheena and lara and i also decided we should go to the aquarium before that. needless to say, the aquarium fell by the wayside. but we DID make it to the brewery. we met up with andy and the gang, went on the tour (which consists of standing in a room listening to a guy talk about beer) and then ordered dinner delivered to the tasting room. it was prety good.

after the brewery, we stopped at beacon's closet and i bought a new umbrella. it's clear and dome-like and super awesome. then we headed to mugs for more drinks. (i had a coke, thanks very much, my drinking for the day ended at 3pm). from mugs we went to an art opening for a group called Build. Seth knew the DJ, and we ran into two of our friends from saturday ladies' soccer. after standing on the corner avoiding hipsters for a few hours, we headed to another party, this time in Greenpoint. Lara's friend, Tim, had invited us to a birthday party in a huge crazy warehouse-like artists apt. it was pretty cool, but after such a long adventure i was ready to go home. so we left lara to fend for herself with her friends and the rest of us took a car to.... another bar! well, i took a cab home, but the more intrepid folks went to magnetic fields and rounded out the evening with a trip to the chip shop. good choice.

Sunday: (oh, it's not over yet, guys) we rallied the troops and headed up to the city college field to play the last game of Castle Greyskull FC's metrosoccer career. as only two members of the rival team showed up, we won by default. Vlad, our very favorite ref, agreed to ref a scrimmage of ourselves against... ourselves. it was a victorious victory, and at the same time a crushing defeat. we all played exceptionally well, if i do say so myself. and we rounded out the day with a lovely pizza meal and xmenIII. which was entertaining, if slightly disappointing and preachy.

All in all it was a lovely weekend, and I'm so glad that everyone got to meet Lara. We're heading to the patio at Commonwealth tonight at around ten-ish if anyone is interested in bidding Lara a fond farewell - she heads out to DC via Baltimore tomorrow, and then goes back to Wales.

picasa is the suck

So, on Monday night I uploaded all of my pictures from my weekend in j.crew land, in the county of abercrombie. Where was I, you ask? At Middlebury!

My little sister graduated from Middlebury College on Sunday. Congratulations!!

I don't know how many of you have ever visited Middlebury College, but it is for prepsters what Williamsburg was for hipsters about a year ago (before the douchey frat boys arrived). One of my sister's roomates' boyfriend arrived at the BBQ wearing nantucket red shorts, flip flops, and a polo shirt with a popped collar. a-mazing. Needless to say, I'm pretty well prepstered out.

They DID teach me how to play Beirut and my sister and I took on her friend (and her siblings) while both sets of parents watched and cheered. Surreal, yes? Later in the evening, my sister took me to a scary keg party (where I ended up vomiting behind the modular housing unit - not alcohol related, but no one will believe me). I met about a billion boys who look pretty much the same, and about a thousand girls wearing tiffany necklaces. Every single person I met was incredibly nice and personable. and they're all pretty smart too. All in all, an enjoyable weekend.
Congratulations to Ali again - she graduated with high honors, suma cum laude, and got the American Civilization Department prize (for highest GPA and most improved) and got a buttload in prize money. Now she can buy me the pony I've always wanted.

Anyway, I tried to post pictures of this BBQ on Monday night, but Picasa had an aneurism and it didn't work. I will try to post a picture or two later.

cupcake, this one's for you.

as requested,

i have tried to illustrate what i think i might find in the stall of the bathroom. i've taken some artistic liscence. our toilets don't look like that. they're more industrial. but then there'd be nothing for the little guy to stand on.

is there a leprochaun hiding in there?

So, the bathroom that we use at work is not actually located within our office suite. It is, in fact, located next to two classrooms and, as a result, is constantly filled with Barnard girls and is really gross.

In an effort to fight the gross, the janitor (a very nice man named Jose) uses copious amounts of airfreshener. This, in theory, is ok. No one likes a bad smell in the bathroom. I mean, it's usualy unavoidable, but you know, you can try. Unfortunately, Jose (or his supervisor probably) has consistently chosen "Bubble Gum" as the airfreshener flavor.

There is nothing worse than a bad bathroom smell. Unless it's a bad bathroom smell mixed with Bubble Yum mixed with strawberry lip balm. It also has the added benefit of making me feel (every single time I enter the bathroom) like someone is hiding in one of the stalls, furiously chewing bubblegum and blowing silent bubbles.

It's just a funny mental image. I'm pretty sure it's one of the wee folk.

"there has been talk of you helping out with these studies. you will NOT have to. I PROMISE"

That is what one of my bosses said to me about a month ago regarding our two Hepatitis-C studies, one involving an antidepressant double blind placebo study (i just turned you on hardcore, huh?) and one involving two MRIs, two PET scans, and about a million man hours per subject.

so guess what today's meeting was about? ME TAKING OVER THE FUCKING STUDIES.

I mean, I know that one of my other studies is ending Friday, but I still have three-four other studies to do, I'm still pretty damned busy every day. Sheena will vouch for that, as I never have enough time to chat with her on the g-chat.

Oh, Hepatitis-C you have ruined me. RUINED ME!

Ok, that's it. I just needed to vent a little. Also to let you know, oh loyal five readers, that my posting might fall along the wayside. stick with me. dealing with hep-c subjects is sure to yield many many hilarious stories of disease and hijinks.

some gems from my C train conductor this morning...

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. We promise. It will never. happen. again."

"For those of you running a few minutes late, let me give you some information in case your supervisors demand it. There was a delayed C train at Utica. You can tell your supervisors that it was the 8:04 C Utica train."

"Attention Ladies and Gentlemen, this is no longer the K train. This is the C train. This train no longer goes to the Bronx. To get to the Bronx, you have to take the D train."

"Make no mistake. No buts. This. Is. Your. D Train."

"Some of you might not know what I was talking about earlier. They used to have double letter trains, the AA and the CC. Then they got rid of the AA and called it the K. It used to go from 168th to the Bronx. That's what I was talking about."

"And, as always, when you smile, the whole world smiles with you"

"I have one of them who cleans my house, a Polish lady."

The above wasn't overheard so much as one of my volunteers said it to me. We were discussing the transformation of our country into a bunch of crazy xenophobes (of which this volunteer obviously is because she said she thought we had "to do something to stop them from swarming over the border"). She (an upper-middle class Long Island middle-aged lady) said that she had a Polish lady who cleaned her house, and who was having trouble getting citizenship "because of those people". So..... the Polish cleaning lady has more of a right to citizenship than "them" because she's white? Oh man, I have to work with this woman.

Anyway, I was reading the NYTimes today and I saw that the Senate has voted to make English the national language. I feel like America is turning into volkisch Germany. We've got fences, an "assimilation statement". come on.

"Under the Inhofe proposal, the federal government is directed to "preserve and enhance the role of English as the national language of the United States of America." It does not go as far as proposals to designate English the nation's official language, which would require all government publications and business to be in English.

Instead, it says government services and publications now offered in other languages would be unaffected. But the proposal declares that no one has "a right, entitlement or claim to have the government of the United States or any of its officials or representatives act, communicate, perform or provide services or provide materials in any language other than English."

Isn't the joy of America it's diversity? what about the melting pot? what about "bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses?" Let us remember that the vast majority of Americans are descended from people who came here looking for new opportunities, probably not legally. I'm pretty sure that people who don't speak English understand that most of the country does. And I do not think that offering signs, governmental forms, etc. in languages other than English in any way diminishes the fact that English is the most commonly spoken language.

I think it helps people. Isn't that what the governemnt is supposed to do? help people? I don't think you can force people to learn English. Those who can probably will, those who can't are not going to be allowed to be citizens? That hurts me.

I know this is a hot topic, and that many people disagree with me, but it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I'm in the middle of a book about the revolutions in Germany that led to the Nazi era, and I'm feeling a sense of deja vu reading today's paper.

"douchebags usually travel in packs"

ok. so i didn't overhear this blog title. or, rather, i overheard myself thinking it. today, during my commute home.

for those of you who are not familiar with my life, i have a pretty long commute. i live in park slope and work at columbia presbyterian hospital, which is up at 168th street. so, i spend a good two and a half hours on the train every day. sometimes i read. sometimes i sleep. usually, on my way home, i knit. because after eight hours of staring at a computer and dealing with idiots, i can't really focus my eyes.

TODAY, i left work on time (which is pretty rare) and got on my beloved A train up at 168th and broadway. usually i can find a seat right away, but today the platform was pretty crowded so i ended up standing with my back to the doors. this was fine by me because i could start knitting and scope out a seat. so we get to 145, people get off the train, and the seats are immediately taken. fine. 125. same story. getting a little annoyed (and footsore). 59th, finally a seat opens up. i see it, make a beeline and, what's this? an overweight lady waltzes onto the train and swoops in. (much like the time in seinfeld when george's parking spot is stolen).

so, of course, i stand there with my mouth hanging open, knitting in hand, and douchebag-ess pulls out her friggin nymetro and starts reading. ok. here's the thing. i am a good person. i appreciate that i am an able-bodied twenty-something (sorry about the hyphens, sheena). seriously, i probably would have given you the seat if you asked, overweight lady. you're carrying around a lot of baggage and your heart is probably tired. i would have stood up for you. BUT YOU STOLE MY SEAT. so now i hate you with all of my soul.

i ended up not getting a seat for the entire commute. even the F train bit.

while i was fuming (and knitting), some douchey lady came onto the train wearing a total douchebag baseball cap so jauntily that it actually covered part of her right eye. i mean, come on. you look in the mirror and think, "sweet! the hat covers my eye! that looks ace! now let me carry my stack of cardboard boxes around the subway, pushing people out of the way and making an ass of myself!"

i drew a picture of that lady. here it is.

lady, you are a tool. not as much of a tool as the lady who stole my seat, but still. there's a continuum and you're pretty far to the tool side.

UPDATE: this morning, after having two (2) seats stolen literally out from under my ass, a very nice man in a pink shirt and blue tie gave me his seat. thank you, nice man. you saved my morning. you're my favorite.

"I would pay a hooker money just to scratch my back"

I've decided that, as much as possible, my blog titles will be things I overhear. The above title was overheard whilst in line for the loo at Vol de Nuit (beer garden in the village). There was a couple sitting to the side of the line; the guy said that his back was itchy, then said he'd hire a hooker to scratch it for him. to which the girlfriend replied, "what does that say about me?" Good question, lame girl. Good question.

Saturday I spent the day perusing Just Kids Nostalgia (a collectables shop that also has records and cds), which was pretty awesome. I found the soundtrack to the Battlefield Earth BOOK. COMPOSED BY L.RON.HUBBARD.

I want to be clear about this. It is the soundtrack to the BOOK. not the movie. and inside there are descriptions of all of the "songs" and the "religion". pretty awesome. If I had a record player I would have bought it.

All in all it was a nice day in Huntington with the Farrells. I helped with the table of complimentary snacks. and ate too much costco brand guacamole. it was tasty.

Sunday, not to rock the boat, Castle Greyskull FC (after an early lead that really pissed the other team off) lost again to FC Hammer. Drew got into a row with one of the girls who took offense to the fact that he was playing soccer like he meant it. Apparently, guys on other teams can beat the Greyskull girls up (like the soccer ball that Insha took to the nose yesterday) but the minute we're in the lead, our guys are bullies. go figure.

Don't worry, Drew didn't beat anyone up, and we lost the lead after the first half and ended the game down 3-1. Par for the course, really. I think we played pretty well. Will scored in the first half, and we had some seriously solid defense. Our downfall, you see, was this kid, Jamie, who is not in the league and doesn't know anyone on any of the teams. He was hanging out at the field asking if he could join a game. When Marty confronted the other team about their obvious ringer (he had also asked us if he could play and we told him no because we're good people and don't hate freedom), they said, "no, he's on the team." liars. lying liars of lies. We could have beat them if not for that kid. he had happy feet. Oh well. As I told Seth, we wouldn't want to ruin our streak anyway.

"sorry, i was barfing; i didn't hear you."

Last night was baseball night, as sheena has described in far better detail than i have the patience for.

the quote in this post's title was overheard, by me, in the ladies room at yankee stadium some time in the bottom of the sixth. i thought it was pretty awesome. mostly because the girl was so matter of fact about it. no embarrassment, no fishing for empathy. nope. she was barfing. she didn't hear the other girl. no big deal. these yankee fans are insane.

as sheena has said, it was the best baseball game i've ever attended, and one of the most exciting games i've seen. very close, low scoring, the win up in the air pretty much the whole game. Hideki's horrific injury was very sad. mostly because it means that his streak of consecutive games is over. he has played in 518 consecutive MLB games (1,720 if you include his Japanese League games). Can you imagine? i can't go three weeks at work without taking at least a few hours off work. jeez. this guy is a manimal.

sorry, hideki. i hope the wrist heals quickly. Columbia-Pres is a good hospital. and i used to work next to the orthopaedic surgery wing - they're nice guys over there. always helped me when i was carrying boxes. good kids. if you want to grab lunch or something, i could show you around the neighborhood. there's a really good chinese place down the block. for serious.

anyway, a happy early birthday to sheena and Go You Redsox.

bottle openers generally take the cork out of the bottle

Last night we had a lovely dinner with Josh, Seth, and Andy. Sheena made an awesome Burmudian Rum Cake - seriously the best rum cake I've had since I was in the Cayman Islands, and I made a nice stir fry. Since I got the recipe from Cook's Illustrated, it was also the most labor-intensive stir fry I've ever made. Seriously. And it tasted pretty damned good, if I do say so myself.

Oh, and when I was opening the bottle of wine that Josh brought (which was a delightful Burgundy from 2003) with my newly (garage sale) acquired awesome wine opener, it pushed the cork INTO the bottle and splurted wine all over the place. It was awesome. Andy, with the agility of a cat, avoided getting covered. I, on the other hand, got a wine facial. I think it's an exfoliant. The wine was salvaged, never fear. I'm giving the bottle opener another chance.

TONIGHT we venture into the heart of darkness to see wakefield pitch against chacon. This game is my birthday present for sheena. when i thought of it, about a month ago, i was determined to keep it a secret. so i emailed sheena to tell her to save the date. that there was a surprise. and then i just couldn't keep it in any more. here's an example of how i can't keep a secret:

me: ok
are you there?
12:45 PM ARE YOU THERE????
---------------------------------------5 minutes
12:50 PM
Sheena: yes I am there
um, here
me: ok.
ok.
you have to save a date.
i am very excited.
Sheena: what?
me: it is a surprise.
you cannot make any plans for Thursday, May 11.
from 7:05 on.
because........
Sheena: hmmm
me: we will be celebrating your birthday
AT YANKEE STADIUM WITH THE REDSOX!!!!!!
Sheena: oh my god!

I mean, I HAVE kept secrets in the past. But it's way hard.

yes. yes.

this is entitled "meet you at the intersection". it has made my effing day.

comic borrowed from none other than toothpastefordinner.com

well, it's obvious that skeletor is out to get us.

Castle Greyskull FC had another rousing game yesterday. Marty recruited Bill, a keeper for the red team, and his girlfriend Leah to play with us, which was nice. because new blood is always nice, and they are very good players. But we didn't warn Bill the Keeper and Leah about the Greyskull curse.

(So, I don't know if you know the curse that greyskull has been carrying lo these many months. We've lost two of our rostered players to pretty serious injuries. Nora took a kick to the leg that twisted her knee something aweful, and Owen went down with something like three torn ligaments in his ankle. none of the other teams we've ever played have had injuries during the game.)

Anyway, the game began normally enough, we had some good almost goals and were pretty awesome on the defense, with the amazing help of Bill the Keeper. he's a pretty intense player, but very nice. Last week he was the keeper who hugged my leg and took me down because he was afraid that he'd destroy my knee if he didn't. thanks, Bill. This week, during one of the corner kicks, he actually yelled "I GO" and then shoved me out of the way so that he could defend his goal. I didn't really mind, i was more surprised than hurt, but Vlad (our ukranian ref) gave him a talking to and told him he'd card him if he didn't stop "pushing girls". oh, vlad, i love you in shorts.

Anyway, here we were, at the end of the first half (i think we were already down by 2), and the blue team came up to our goal, there was a flury of defending, Bill the Keeper leapt into the air, and immediately started screaming. like before he landed he was screaming. at first (and this is embarrassing to say), i thought he was just hamming it up to get some sort of direct kick for us. and i thought, "way to ham it up, Bill the Keeper! this is just what we need! a little dramatics!" but then, a split second later, when he was rolling on the ground screaming, "oh god, oh god no, oh god no" i decided that he probably wasn't hamming it up.

Apparently Bill the Keeper heard popping in his knee, and couldn't move the bottom half of his leg. not a good sign. Will called the ambulance and we started playing the second half, but it was hard to keep the focus up, what with Bill the Keeper sitting on the steps. Seth stepped into the net and did a fabulous job of defending. We ended the game at, i think, 5-0. not the majestic comeback we had been hoping for after last week, but i think we all played pretty well.

I wish there was some way for us to be rid of the curse of skeletor! can we burn something? do a dance around the teamgeist? anything? I just feel bad, because Bill the Keeper was doing us a favor. He's not even on the team. and now his knee's all disconnected and shit.

Now we only have two more games, so if you want to come and cheer greyskull on, you're running out of time. It's way fun. you can bring us more orange slices!! also, you can be there to ride in the ambulance with whomever falls subject to the curse next. i hope it's not vlad.

i hate you, lost. look what you've turned me into.

this morning. i walked into the office and said, "did anyone see lost last night?" and then i tried to kill myself because i turned into that girl who talks about tv at work. i hate that girl.

god. at least i wasn't asking if anyone had seen american idol. or grey's anatomy. because that kind of talk at work makes me want to lift up my monitor and place it squarely on my head. hard-like.

so, to my co-workers, i'm sorry that i asked if anyone watched lost (they do not. they watch american idol and grey's anatomy and reality tv).

to lost - i'm sorry baby. i didn't mean it. i was angry. please take me back.

i KNEW it!!

ok. so yesterday the sky looked menacing. it was cloudy, and there were dark rain clouds that seemed to follow a line through the sky. i got on the F train and, as is my wont, was watching the neighborhood fly past the window when i noticed that the line of grey cloud might actually be a tower of smoke coming from some distant point. it was really awesome looking.

so when i got to work i asked, "does anyone know if anything is burning in brooklyn?" of course, there was no reply. because my coworkers tend to ignore things i say. they are awesome. obviously.

anyway, i searched on the internet machine and nothing popped up. nothing on nytimes, nothing on cnn. i thought that it was just a normal industrial smoke thing going on.

THEN, this morning i spotted an article in someone else's New York AM about some fire in Brooklyn. YES! not that i'm happy there was a fire, mind you. it seems that an area of warehouse buildings (suspiciously owned by one guy who's slowly turning the empty warehouses into condos on the waterfront) totally burst into flames yesterday morning. like for serious flames. it was a 10 alarm fire. the worst since 9/11. (full nytimes story here) it seems pretty sketchy. especially because there's been a bit of a kerfuffle about yuppifying the area. the older residents are none too happy.

i would just like to say i knew it. and i told them so. and they don't care, so i'm telling you.

vigilante grammarians unite!!

The Vigilante Grammarians have begun our campaign. Last night Sheena and I were wandering around on 2nd ave, heading to closing night of Lynne's awesome show (What Women Talk About), and we passed by one of the many bars that line the street.

There was a chalkboard sign out front advertising the upcoming Yankees v. Redsox game (which was, incidently, rained out). Now, here's what the sign actually said: "Yankee's v Redsox tonite"

Completely ignoring the obnoxious spelling of "tonite", do we see the problem here, people? so Sheena and I did what any red blooded American grammar snob would do; we erased the apostrophe. (should have documented said erasing, i know). Immediately after the sign was fixed, a drunk man behind us shouted, "what are you, redsox fans?" to which I replied, "we're just not apostrophe fans" and sheena added, "but we ARE redsox fans".

Here's the thing. as evidenced by this post, i'm not up on all of my grammar rules. i don't know when to use a semi colon instead of a colon. i vacilate between the american and british rules regarding punctuation after quotation marks. but BUT i DO know when to use an apostrophe. and when to rub that apostrophe out. and, by god, that's what i'm going to do.

who's with me????

claire is rule the world

borrowing from toby's post, i know, but i was just invited a myspace group entitled "claire's rule the world".

here's the message i got: Hello claire, Claire has invited you to join Claire's rule the world! on MySpace.

OK. now. let us move past the fact that someone has created this club. because i just don't have the energy this morning for that. and can someone please explain to me why i would ever want to join any club on myspace, let alone a club of claires? are we all friends becasue we have the same name? and, i shit you not, one of the comment threads is all of the claires listing their middle names, and getting excited when they have the same middle name as another claire. oh. my. god. let us not get into that today.

let us focus on the apostrophe (because i'll have a brain embolism or something if i have to keep talking about the claire group).

come on, people!! get it together! i know they're fun looking and contractions are awesome. but let us use a little restraint, ok? see what i just did there? i did not use a contraction! i spelled out both of the words. because sometimes (most often when there are PLURAL FORMS BEING USED) the apostrophe is just not the answer.

end rant.

guh.

what happens when you combine a swanky club, a pretty shitty day at work, free tequila (free free), and some pretty awesome music?

um. i believe that is what the kids are calling the funky chicken.

i don't think we were actually doing the funky chicken. Hamish just caught us in an inopportune moment. i hope. i don't remember. (chris - were we doing the funky chicken?) it was fun. seth danced with a girl. i still have VIP stamped on my hand. sweet.

click here for more pictures.

we capped off the night at the knitting factory watching the K's perform. needless to say, i felt like a butt this morning.

Thanks, CITY magazine!!!

haircuts up the wazoo... or ... hairapalooza

Sheena and I had a haircut date today. You may not be able to see the cuts in their full glory, but sheena's looks fantastic, if i do say so myself. mine is also nice. sheena says i look like my mom a lot now.

Also seen in above photo are the socks that Ms. Cupcake made for us. they are AWESOME!!! some day. some day, i hope to make socks. maybe cupcake can help me. just maybe. 

ah huuuuaaaahhh??

So, apparently, they are planning to build a WATER THEME PARK. on RANDALL'S ISLAND.

isn't nyc enough of a draw? we need a theme park to draw new visitors? ummmm.... gross.

so much bacteria. so much athlete's foot.

i just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

a tale of two dinners

this past saturday night saw me eating two (2) huge dinners, one right after the other. the first was at Franny's in the North Flatbush/Bergen area of Brooklyn. My cousin's husband orchestrated a surprise dinner extravaganza, and it was nice. I'd never been to Franny's before and i must say that the pizza was very tasty. And they also have vegan pizza, which is always an appetizing option for us lactose intolerants.

a mere hour later i was on my way to dinner numero dos. my friend, Tyler, bartends at a trendy steak/mussels place in tribeca called landmarc. we go there sometimes to visit and drink really good gin. tyler has also waited on jon stewart a bunch of times. (apparently he's very nice and tips extremely well. as if we needed more reasons to adore him). But I digress...

the guy who owns landmarc has opened/is opening a new restaurant called ditch plains on Bergen in the west village. this will be a seafood restaurant, named after a beach on long island, and modeled after a "montauk seafood shack" or something. so we got to go during the preview stage and have a fantastic (free) dinner. Below you will see the remains of the table.

we had: oysters on the half shell, oyster shooters, fried clams, a basket of cured meats, grits with chorizo, grits with lobster, baked mac 'n cheese, shrimp, wine, key lime pie, chocolate cake, carrot cake, and a can of whipped cream. am I missing anything?

it was amazing. I highly recommend.

needless to say, i couldn't really walk after the meal. i waddled. i wish i could get awesome free dinners every weekend. Thanks, Tyler!!

we have the power!!!!

We had yet another fantastic soccer game yesterday - Castle Greyskull FC really pumped up the jams, as it were. "Handsome" Fain scored a beautiful goal, after which many of the members of FC Hammer (our opponents) clapped and cheered for us. Tera and Marty were almost unstoppable on the field, and Insha took one for the team - in the chest. Seth and Chris had some very nice runs, and Sheena and I worked the defense pretty well, if i do say so myself. I think Vlad, the ref, is a big fan of Greyskull as he gave us many good calls that we probably didn't deserve. Thanks, Vlad!

Luckily it stopped raining long enough for us to finish our game, but the water gathered under the artificial turf and, as such, the keepers were wading through a few inches of water, diving into lakes to save us from a more humiliating defeat. I think the final score was something like 8-1. But at least we got the one, right?

Hopp Greyskull.

come on people, i need help.

So. Allergies. Hmmmm?

To your left you will see HayFever causing pollen. This is the enemy, people. I'm almost sure of it.

Growing up in Sunny SoCal, I had no experience with allergies (aside from hearing horror stories about how miserable my dad was when he lived in new york and then in washington d.c.). I think the main reason my parents stayed in Los Angeles was the fact that my dad wasn't allergic to much there.

And then I moved to New York.

I don't really know the mechanisms (I'll just have to check wikipedia on this), but for some reason I have allergies now. Either I have allergies, or my brain is exploding and I'm losing my mind. I mean, this is a distinct possibility. So I took some alavert yesterday, to help with my fuzzy headed sneezing craziness. and I am happy to report that I have not sneezed all day. awesome.

BUT. instead of sneezing with a fuzzy head. now i'm just sitting here at my computer feeling all crazy like. who knows a good allergy medicine that won't make me catatonic at work??? let's go! everyone get in on this.

it's going to be a very long allergy season if we don't figure this out! because i'm not one to suffer in silence.

don't say i never said that i said what i said

OK. I am going to pull my old most-emailed-picture-post thing. I just couldn't resist. This, apparently, is Kimani. OK. very cute little monkey. the point, though, is that HER MOTHER WAS NAMED PRESIDENT OF THE EFFING ZOO. ok. i know this is a publicity thing. i know that the animals don't actually get together and vote for president of the animals.

but what i'm presupposing is, what if they did?

those silly kids at the boston zoo. a monkey can't be president!! oh wait. never mind.

at least kimani got lettuce at the party.

once more, this time with more exposition

OK.

Last night, Sheena, Seth, Chris, Josh and I saw Lucky Number SLevin.

Man oh man was it bad. ok. no. let me amend that. the first forty minutes were ok. and then they pretty much played the first forty minutes again. with voice overs. explaining every single thing. i mean, the wrap up was as long as the movie. Also, it was trying really hard to be a mamet film, but it was not. not. not.

as seth said on our walk home, if you spent the last half of the movie pretending you were watching the Usual Suspects, it was pretty awesome. i mean, what a movie! the wrap up? fifteen seconds. and then you spent the next few days working the rest out on your own. unlike slevin. no, we had to watch the gratuitous violence twice. and then there was suffocation. it was icky.


i didn't like it.

here is a picture of my dog at home, Sasha. I like Sasha.

Also I spent the weekend in Huntington, which was very nice and fun. We spent Saturday night playing a round robin tetris tournament. my thumbs hurt a lot now. and when i close my eyes, tetrinos are falling. falling. falling to freedom.

Then I helped to hide the easter eggs. the lesson I learned (because this was my first easter) is that you should always count how many eggs you're hiding. and remember where you put them.

chag sameach, mother f**ker.

Happy Passover!!! In celebration of one of my favorite holidays josh, seth, and chris joined sheena and myself for our very first grown-up seder (pictures will be forthcoming from josh and/or sheena).

So, obviously, I had my mom send me the seder plate I made when I was 3 and some extra haggadot for the occasion. My mom said (hi mom!) that they had recently bought new haggadahs and so she would send me the old ones. Now, we've been using the Family Concise Seder for about six or seven years now, so I figured these had been retired and I would get to use them.

No. Mom was talking about the Passover Haggadah, printed in 1981 and unseen by my eyes since maybe 1987. I've included the first paragraph of the first page, just to give you a petit goux of the evening's entertainment. Below is an actual quote. I'm not paraphrasing. I swear.

"The redemption of the children of Israel from Egypt is the archetype - the first great historical instance and everlastingly inspiring example - of all liberations of oppressed and enslaved peoples. In the heart of our people, it is indelibly inscribed as Israel's primal birth of freedom - the grand Divinely ordered step leading to our acceptance of the Sacred Torah at Sinai and our march through the desert to glorious nationhood in the Promised Land."

wow, right? wow indeed. Also, we were supposed to tell the wicked son that if he had been in Egypt with the slaves, he would have been left behind. because he's a tool.

We made our way through the service, Seth sang the four questions beautifully in a high, clear, pre-pubescent voice. We made and ate the Hillel sandwiches. And then to the dinner! Seth brought really really good matzah ball soup, Josh brought the Gefilte fish and horseradish, and I made brisket (which apparently tasted ok: it was an adventure as i've not cooked meat since i was about twelve). Sheena provided the amazing flourless chocolate cake, and we worked through quite a few bottles of pesadiccha wine. All in all, I think it was a success and I can't wait for next year! if not in jerusalem, then at least at my place with new haggadot.

oh! and seth found the afikomen. he got a dollar coin as a reward. sweet!

so wait. the point is to score MORE points?

Oh....hello.

This weekend saw another rousing defeat of Greyskull FC (read more here and here). We finally had almost a full squad and had to get used to being able to get tired and sub out. (as opposed to getting tired and falling down on the pitch). We played well (oh, except for that deflection I kicked into our own goal. man, that sucked). anyway, it was tons of fun. and Kathryn's mom brought us orange slices! awesome! the other team was way jealous.

Saturday Andy and I went rockclimbing again (is it possible that we're more sore this week than last?) and have decided it's more fun when there are more than two people climbing. so, who wants to go rock climbing with us?

On a completely unrelated note, I stole this picture from my cousin, JGreene, who is hip and with it and does movie things in la, although i'm not sure how much that affects his ability to spot creepy tabloid pictures of poor poor katie.

That's just not right. I didn't know that she wasn't pregnant. The question NOW is, whose baby are they going to steal?

i also like babies

so i get the stupid neighborhoodies emails every month. and i usually delete them. because i already have my dorkestra shirt and, you know, monthly newsletters are annoying.

anyway, point is, this month i didn't delet automatically - i went to the website and decided to check out the neighborhoodie of the week.

oh man.

this kid's name is Tegan.

TEGAN.

i heart pirates

ok. on a side note: bones last night was about pirates. specifically, blackbeard. i got the heads up from a friend at work because, while i may watch csi every night i can, i do have some limits to the crap i'll watch on tv, and i don't watch bones. unless csi isn't on. which it always is. but i digress.

the real purpose of this post is to further our search for the awesomest animal (living or extinct) and we might have gotten a step further...

ladies and gents, may i present the tiktaalik.........
This awesome fish/lizard/crazy thing is thought to be the first fish to jump onto land. it was anywhere from 4 to 9 feet long. and look at those fins/feet! so so cool.

that is all.

erotic thrillers lost steam at the box office

So Castle Greyskull FC came together again yesterday for an awesome game. We played a team called The Bohemians, who wore red. so obviously they're commies. all of them. red bohemian commies. also they played with a keeper who's not actually on their team (and who was, as mike said, a spaz) and also a very talented player named Franky who was also not actually on their team. so i don't feel so bad that we played our hearts out and got whupped 5-0. it was lots of fun anyway. we girls had no subs, so we played the whole game, and the guys only had one sub, so in essence they played the whole game too. also, there were no serious injuries (aside from a few bloody knees). AND i knocked franky down and made him cry, which was awesome. Because mr. Marty was away Will and Carrie played keeper - doing an admirable job i might add.

I also spent most of the day on saturday battling a stomach virus, which i tried to conquer by doing a little rock climbing and learning how to belay (holding the rope so the person who's climbing doesn't fall to his/her death). and now, monday, i've finally gotten the ability to grasp things with my hands back. man are my arms tired. So anyone who wants to go rock climbing, i can belay you. it'll be awesome.

all in all, an enjoyable weekend.



picture courtesy of www.phscardinals.org - thanks!!

this is for you, cupcake.

Ms. Cupcake - you should go to San Fransisco. They already have your cafe ready for you. I saw this and thought of you.

did you know that san fransisco is cool?

These are pictures I took in San Fransisco. From the top, San Fransisco bought up tons of unused cable cars from around the world - from brookly circa 1947 (pictured above), to Milan circa 1906 (that's the exit sign up there). I think that's awesome.

Also, we went to pier 39 and drove by the Wharf. On the left is a sign from a Russian Nesting Dolls Store (called Babushka's, predictably). anyway, they apparently did not want me to touch anything. On the right is a pirate. just hanging out. i think he might be french. just a hunch.

allow myself to clarify... myself

Ok. based on the number of frantic phone calls and emails from concerned family members and the wife, I think I need to clarify my last post a little. not that anyone else cares, but - you know - on the off chance.

So, when i said "i no longer want to be a psychologist" i should have written "i no longer want to attend a clinical psychology program and be a clinical psychologist". instead, i'm going to get a degree in School Psychology, after which i will be able to, and may in fact, get my liscense and have a private psych practice, but let's not count our chickens, eh?

Ok, so the only thing left to decide (not thinking about taking the GREs, applying, interviewing at, and actually getting into any program) is whether I want a Ph.D. or an Ed.D. I'm not entirely clear on the difference, as they take the same amount of time and you're eligible for the same jobs/salaries/liscensing options. oh well.

yes. deep breath. thank you.

i think i left Something in san fransisco

I know that I have been remiss in my postage, but there have been things afoot in claire-land.

One of those things was that I got sent (most expenses paid) to a conference in San Fransisco! very exciting. All I had to do was attend a few paper presentations and stand in front of the poster I made and talk to people who asked me questions. all in all, not a bad way to earn a round trip airplane ticket and four nights at the Marriott.

I also got to hang out with my old co-worker Lina (who i replaced at my job) which was very exciting. In doing this, I had a personal/professional epiphany. i. do not. want. to be. a psychologist. hoooooboy that's scary.

yes. the time has come, my friends, for claire to start to grow up. the first step in this "growing up" is, i think, to take spanish. that makes sense, right? the second step will involve the GRE, but let's not count our chickens before they hatch, shall we? the question is - who will take spanish with me?! it'll be fun! it'll be like freshman year of college!

Oh, and I have pictures from my adventures in San Fransisco - they will be posted posthaste, fear not.

ummm... when are you going to die?

Why yes, those ARE yoga pants under my soccer shorts. Why do you ask?

Castle Greyskull FC has made the switch to an outdoor (weirdo turf) field! We had our first game yesterday (click here for full rundown). We had some new additions in the form of awesomely tall and talented guys, and a pretty great carrie cheek (who is neither tall, nor a guy, but sure is talented). And we also played in 10 degree weather, yes it did snow in the middle of the game. Thanks to our loyal fan, Andy, who came and sat all by his lonesome in the stands and froze. He tried to cheer, but his voice box froze. A for effort, dude.

True to form, we lost our first game (this is so that we can lull the rest of the league into a false sense of security and then come back from the brink to nearly clinch the title. BUT BUT BUT we did NOT lose this game 11-1 as we did last season. no. this was a more respectable 4-0. i would have liked there to be at least one goal for us, but as i ran around in circles in the back corner, i can't really complain.

viva hacienda greyskull!!

Obie's dream of horses

Albatross, Obediah. Obediah, Albatross.
Albatross is a recent addition to the Golden/Mohan household. Here you see Obediah and Albatross making each others' acquaintance. They were fast friends.

Always the equestrian, that Obie.

how many balls can YOU hold?

because there's no such thing as too much footie

Here are some of the photos from mom, as promised...

The pre-game "we're all winners in our hearts" talk.

This is how it all began. I tapped the ball to Anna, and the rest is history.

After the routing of Footlocker, we make nice and shake hands, and then laugh at them behind their backs.

proof of life

All we're missing is them holding up a newspaper. Anyway, the boys are safely (if coldly) in Bucharest. I (or sheena) will probably be updating the nonexistant public on their adventures. I mean, they're the only ones who read this thing, right?

The family descends and Greyskull comes into our own.

My family came to celebrate my birthday (I like to use the entire month, just keep the presents coming!) this weekend. And Oh what a weekend!

On Friday night we had a bowling adventure in Sunset Park (pictures TK, Sheena has them on her camera). It had a rocky start, but Peter (bartender extraordinaire) made sure we had enough buckets of Rocks, and all was well. When we finally got our lanes Sheena revealed that she belongs to a bowling league and she doesn't actually work, but instead bowls all day. Chris demonstrated how to make sure the lanes are adequately oiled (by sliding down them on your back), and a good time was had by all.

Saturday I took the family on a Brooklyn adventure to end all adventures. We first headed down to Coney Island (see picture above). Now, am I the only person who knows that Coney is another word for Rabbit? and why do i know this??? It was a beautiful day and it was nice to see the ocean without a sea of hipsters surrounding me (the only other time i've been to coney island was for siren festival).

After the beach we decided to find the house in which my grandmother and great aunt grew up. I think it's in Boro Park? Flatbush? Midway? but i really have no idea. Right next to Brooklyn College. Anyone know where that is? Anyway, the house is still there:

Yesterday we had our semi-final and championship soccer games - man were we the come-from-behind-kids! We played the top-ranked team in our semi-final round and took them by surprise by winning! 5-3!! take THAT big dude!!

And then we fulfilled our destiny by playing the evil PPSH team. You may remember our prophecy that, after losing to the 11-1 our first game, we would end up playing the urine-colored team in the championships... well, we did. After our astonishing victory over the Footlocker team we were pretty pumped. We started off strong, scoring right at the beginning and keeping them away from our goal. First half ended and, amazingly, we were in the lead. oh what a day! then, we began to live the Mighty Ducks. Our strongest player, Owen, rolled his ankle and was out of the game. We shook it off and tried to keep on it, but alas could not hold them at bay. We ended with a loss in reality, but it was a moral victory. the final score was 3-1. much different from the 11-1 loss in January. And we kept them on their toes the whole game.

There was some amazing playing going on - Will and Mike double teamed to score a beautiful goal, Owen (as always) was magnificent, and there were some great defensive plays by Insha, Sheena, and myself (if i may be immodest). Also, Marty was a wall - saving us from many a would-be goal, and Tera and Anna scared the bejesus out of the big dudes. I'm sure Sheena will have more to say about this, and I'm supposed to be getting some pictures from my mom once she gets back to LA. Thanks to Sevil and Colin for organizing an awesome indoor league!

Spring has, in fact, sprung.

I think that most people know this, but I'm a sucker for Pale Male. I made my family tramp through central park year before last to show them the nest (ali was unimpressed, but my dad started sending me every article he could find during the nest/co-op scandal last year). Anyway, you will all be happy to know that Pale Male and Lola (his mate du jour) are back on the upper west side. Spring is here, people, even Pale Male says so.

huzzah!!
picture borrowed from NYTimes.com, taken by Chang Lee.

jumping jehosephat i love my job

So, part of my job is to be the Social Director for the department. I'm not very good at it. A few weeks ago I had motivated enough to plan for a Behavioral Medicine Bowling Adventure (after the suggestions of my boss, Richard). This was exciting. I love bowling (as you may have guessed), and a bowling night with the coworkers promised to be interesting, to say the least.

Anyway, today while we were eating birthday cake Richard started talking about how much he loved The Big Lebowski and wouldn't it be great if we could watch it before bowling? we then proceeded to scream at those who have not seen it and act out our favorite scenes for them. (have i mentioned that i want to be Richard's friend?).

So now, in addition to a bowling night, we are having a screening of The Big Lebowski, just our lab, in a big classroom with a projection screen. we get to skive off work, we're going to have pizza, and then we get to go bowling. it's going to be awesome. i love my job.

How I Got Grownup Furniture OR First Day of the Second Quarter of my Century OR One Foot in the Grave

ok. so, before i begin. take a look at this logo. (it's a furniture company). on a scale of one to fascist...


Anyway, in honor of this auspicious day (it IS a wedensday, after all), I am finally buying (with my parents' help) a real-live, grown-up bed frame. Here's a picture of it. Just subtract the painfully ugly comforter, add three cats, and you'll have it! You can't really tell from this picture, but there's a very nice scalloping on the footboard. It's all hand-made, solid birch, hand-stained fanciness. i'm the fanciest girl in the world. I'm picking it up from my new friend Michael (thank you craigslist) today at 8. if anyone wants to help me transport it, that would be awesome.

Now, i didn't want to tell Michael this, but if you go to the manufacturer's website (of the crazy fascist condor eagle thing), you'll notice the disgustingly high prices of all of their furniture. I like art deco as much as the next girl, but come ON! luckily, Michael isn't a shmuck, didn't spend that much on his bed, and I ended up getting a steal. hooray!! now i just have to save up my money to populate my bedroom with more awesome art deco furniture. Tia, any suggestions??

GGGGOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!! again.

Castle Grey Skull FC won our playoff game!!! We had a great bout against Bleu Cheese (who are awesome and if we could play against them every time I would be very happy - this is directed at the stupid purple team who should just not show up because they're jerky jerks and i'll kick them in the head).

Anyway, thanks to everyone for coming out to support us. It was infinitely more fun to play with a cheering section than without. Come out and see us get crushed at the semi-finals next week. Our game starts at 12:45 (click here for standings and schedule), and if by some crazy miracle of miracles we beat Footlocker (which won't happen, don't worry), the Championship final will be at 1:30.

Also my parents and sister will be there, probably bored out of their minds, so you should come and keep them company.

you, too, can be philanthropic!

My sister is running in a Relay for Life in Middlebury, and I thought some of you might want to donate money to go to cancer research.

here is the link, and i'll paste ali's letter below.
_____________________________
Two years ago, my friend Annie lost her mom to breast cancer. It's a tragedy that will stay with her for the rest of her life, and one that no one should have to go through. In an effort to ensure that no one else loses a loved one to this disease, my friends and I are participating in Relay for Life at Middlebury College.

Relay is an overnight event that unites our community in a common effort to support the American Cancer Society’s lifesaving mission to eliminate cancer as a major health problem. The Society works every day to prevent cancer and save lives by supporting groundbreaking research, affecting public policies that protect us from cancer, and educating people on how to prevent or detect cancer early. The Society helps people in our community who have cancer through its many programs and services. Together, we can help the American Cancer Society accelerate the progress toward a cancer-free future.

I hope you’ll be able to join us for this year’s event. Please click on the link below for more information, including details on the inspirational Survivors’ Lap and the moving Luminaria Ceremony. If you can’t join us, will you please visit the site and make a donation to support our efforts? Either way, you will make a real difference in the lives of people facing cancer – and in the lives of the people who love them. Thank you!
Also, please forward this email to anyone you think would be interested in this cause!
Thanks so much!!
Love,
Ali

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Relay For Life of Middlebury College

this is from my boss.

who also has a sign on his office door that says, "shoot first, ask questions later" with a picture of cheney as elmer fudd.

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article12092.htm

pretty good article about interesting questions the press was not asking after the shooting incident.